say that because I had no interest in hurting her unnecessarily, even despite her betrayal. And I had my own blame to carry. I’d stayed with her for reasons that were less than noble. I’d taken her emotion for me, and given little of my heart in return. I hadn’t realized that at the time, but I saw it clearly now. But there were other reasons we wouldn’t have worked out too. “A small-town cop, even the chief of police, would never make you happy in the long run, Phoebe.”
I saw the pain that skittered over her face. Maybe she still had some feelings for me, even if she knew what I was saying was true. She sighed, shrugged, picking at a thread on the throw pillow she’d moved into her lap, a hideous cross-stitch attempt that declared Home is Where the Hooch is. Whoever had made it had imbibed in more than their fair share. Phoebe looked up at me, her eyes imploring. “I thought maybe you’d want to run for some sort of office . . . there’s a senator who lives up the street from the Buchanans.” Her eyes moved back to that thread, staying there.
I considered what she’d said, remembering that Haven had asked about that. At the time, it’d seemed to come out of nowhere. But sitting there, I realized she’d brought it up right after she’d mentioned that a couple people at the club had been discussing me. Had they also mentioned Phoebe’s aspirations on my behalf? That seemed to fit. And it sounded like Phoebe, planning for things that met her needs, but not sharing them with me.
I sighed, scrubbing my hand down my face. “You never asked me. You never even asked if I wanted that.”
She bit at her lip. “I just figured . . . I could persuade you eventually.”
God. It would have been a lifetime of being maneuvered, the same way I’d always felt when I was under the control of my mother, and even beyond that. I’d let her continue to do it, because it had been habit by that point. Familiar. I didn’t want to be maneuvered or manipulated anymore. I wanted to be asked what I wanted for my life.
The way Haven had done.
And then I wanted to be listened to and supported in those dreams.
And I wanted to do the same for someone else.
But that would never be Phoebe. And deep inside, I had felt that. I hadn’t seen a future with us. Not really. The truth of the matter was that I had never even really known her, because I hadn’t wanted to.
I leaned forward, placing my elbows on my knees. “You wouldn’t have persuaded me. So you wouldn’t have been happy. Or if you had, I wouldn’t have been happy, and things would have crumbled.” I gave her a small smile. “In a funny way, you saved us both a helluva lot more misery.”
She breathed out a smile, but the pain was still in her eyes. “Is there any chance you and me—”
“No.” I paused. “But I wish you happiness. I mean that.”
Tears pricked at her eyes and she nodded, giving me a small, sad smile. “Thank you, Travis. I wish you happiness too. And I hope . . . maybe someday you can forgive me.”
I tilted my head, realizing the truth. “I already do, Phoebe. And you should forgive yourself.” Learn from your mistakes, and I’ll learn from mine.
She nodded, a soft smile tilting her lips. She hesitated for a moment but there was nothing left to say and we both knew it.
I stood, and she did too. We both glanced toward the doorway where half a feline face had appeared, singular eye narrowed as it watched Phoebe with cold malice. Phoebe shrunk away, backing toward the other door that led to the foyer. “I’ll, uh, let myself out.”
I nodded. A pipe rattled overhead, the sound of footsteps coming from the back of the upstairs hallway. The Yellow Trellis Inn was waking up.
Phoebe turned and walked to the foyer and a moment later, I heard the door close behind her.
I inhaled deeply as Clawdia limped into the room, rubbing against my legs. I picked her up and set her on the couch, and then headed upstairs. I knocked on Haven’s door but there was no answer. I thought I heard the shower running from inside and so I turned and headed to my own room. I had to start getting ready for work