he’d been on Turov’s boat, but here he was— standing at the bottom of the steps to Lori’s building, shaking so hard he had to hang on to the railing to stay upright, his stomach cramping.
Nick put a hand on his back. “Hey, you okay?”
“No.” Freaking obvious, right? He wanted to turn around and go home and play with Luger, and pretend that his phone hadn’t rung as they were getting up from dinner. Nick would’ve gone out on his stupid, fruitless stakeout to see if Sam was an arsonist, and Brian could’ve curled up on the couch with a movie. No Lori in labor. No baby almost here.
“Women have babies all the time.”
“No kidding.” But not my sister having— oh, God, don’t let it be mine. Don’t let there be anything wrong with it!
“Come on. Doc said it could be anytime now.” Nick changed from gentle pressure to some kind of brisk rub across the small of his back.
Brian whirled around, stepping out of reach. “I changed my mind. We don’t have to be here when it’s born. You can drop me back home and go follow Sam around.”
Nick stared at him. “You’re joking.”
“I’m not— It’s not—” He clenched his teeth and stopped trying to explain.
Nick held his hands wide, like he was dealing with a skittish horse. “Hey, easy. We can go home if you want.”
Brian shook his head so fast the world blurred. Yes, I want. No, I can’t. Bry would be babbling by now and retreating inside his head for all he was worth, but Bry could never be responsible for a baby. Responsible for— He held back a heave of his stomach, because it was Bry who puked easily and escaped into the grossed-out recoil of everyone around him. I’m better than that now. I am. “Wait.”
Nick laid a hand back on his shoulder. Brian wanted to lunge and hug and dump this all on Nick. What would Dr. Murphy say if she was here? He could hear her calm voice telling him to break it down, one step at a time. Leaving now was a wrong choice. He knew that in his heart. He had to stay. So the next step was climbing those stairs and going in the front door.
He turned around, gripped the iron rail, and pulled himself up the steps. The entry door was unlocked, as Charlie had promised. He pushed it open and went into the hall. There, he stopped short and Nick crowded in behind him, nudging the door closed.
At the top of the stairs, Lori’s front door stood ajar. Up one more flight. He climbed doggedly and eased the door wider. Charlie stood looking out at the deck, while noises that Brian didn’t want to catalog came from Lori’s room down the hall. He knocked on the doorframe.
Charlie whirled and smiled at them with what seemed like relief. “Hey, you guys made it. Come on in.”
“Yeah.” Nick guided Brian forward and pushed the door shut. “How is she? And the baby?”
“No baby yet.” Charlie headed to the kitchen. “Zander says it won’t be long, though. She didn’t tell me to call him until she really couldn’t hide the contractions. Stubborn woman.”
Brian cleared his tight throat. “Zander still thinks it’s okay for her to have the baby here? At home?”
“So far so good. Either of you want something to drink?”
“Not with a baby coming!”
Charlie gave him a gentle look. “I meant, like orange juice. Or pop. Although believe me when I say booze is tempting right now.”
Lori’s voice rose from the bedroom in a string of inventive curses, making them all turn, short-circuiting Brian’s embarrassment.
Nick said, “I guess swearing’s better than whatever else. Any sign of Damon yet?”
“Nope.”
“You know he’s coming.”
“Yep.” Charlie shrugged. “Although he may not come inside. Lurking in the shadows seems to be his style.”
“He’s trying to keep Lori and me safe,” Brian pointed out. That’d always been Damon’s prime directive. “Even if it means he doesn’t get to come in with us.”
“I know.” Charlie frowned. “I don’t like the ways he goes about it.”
Neither did I. But a new panting, moaning sound from Lori’s room made Brian suddenly dizzy. His vision developed dark sparkles around the edges. He took a fast breath.
“Come on.” Nick gripped his arm firmly. “Have a seat. Have a pop. Sugar.”
He didn’t fight being steered over and eased onto the couch. Nick sat beside him, and Charlie fetched him an open Coke. He drank a sip, and another, slowly. The sparkles