Brian leaned on the desk, sounding like this was a conversation about something reasonable, like getting gravel for the driveway or what color to paint the kitchen. “I could try opening my Finder’s eye for a second. Get a direction, and shut down. You drive for a couple of hours, that way. Then I do it again. We could go in a straight line for a couple of days with me not doing more than a minute here and there. No strain at all, until the last hour or so, after we overshoot. That short stuff barely even bothers me.”
Nick blinked. It could work! Ask him! Do it! He let blind anger rise to cover the hope. “How the hell can you know what it’ll do, to drop in and out for days in a row? You’ve never done that either. This ‘what could it hurt’ overconfidence is what got you in deep shit last time. Don’t you get it, dummy? I don’t want to risk you, to hunt down a sister who could have found me anytime she bothered to call directory assistance!”
Brian’s calm made the tightness of Nick’s chest worse. Doesn’t he realize the stakes? Fuck this shit! He whirled away, tripped over the dog, bumped his hip on the corner of the desk and was glad of the chance to swear.
Brian stepped behind him and laid a hand on Nick’s bruised hip. For some reason, that calmed his jitters. He leaned back against Brian’s body as strong fingers rubbed circles over his sore spot.
“I don’t think you have to choose,” Brian said quietly. “Between me and Ariana, I mean. I think we can try this, slow and safe. If it feels risky, if I get dizzy or whatever, we can stop.”
Nick closed his eyes and leaned harder. He laid his hand over Brian’s, pressing down to feel the faint ache under that wide palm. “But will you tell me honestly? If it gets bad?”
“Don’t you trust me?”
He heard the thinness of Brian’s voice, but he still said, “Not to take care of yourself. With everything else, yeah, but— I want to. I’m just—” Scared. Fuck, he hated being scared. He pushed away from Brian and walked over to the patio doors. That peaceful landscape should be soothing, right?
Was Damon out there somewhere, watching, ready to snatch Brian back again, like a toy they were fighting over, if Nick didn’t play carefully enough? Fuck that too. He forced words out. “I will try. To believe you. But… there’s your job, and Lori. It’s a bad time. You can’t just head off across country right now. Maybe later.” His shoulders dropped, as apprehension eased. “Someday, yeah.”
“Now’s actually a good time. Yasmin told me I could have days off for Christmas this week. The neighbor’s college kids are home, so she has someone she can pay for a couple hours of help, if she needs it.”
“And Lori?”
“She doesn’t need me around.”
He couldn’t read that flat tone. “Don’t you want to be here when the baby’s born?”
“I don’t know.”
Nick turned. “It could be your baby too.”
“Yeah, but, maybe not. Maybe— Lori’s still hoping that Marston was just trying to turkey-baster his own baby into her. He wanted an heir. If it is mine— if he really was treating her like some kind of breeding stock all along— it’ll hurt her more than me. I always knew he was only using me.”
“Surely Lori didn’t think he loved her?”
“No. Yes? I don’t always understand Lori, but I know a lot of creeps were hitting on her, all through our teens. Landing Marston was important to her. Whether she thought he loved her, or was just hot for her, their marriage was something she accomplished. A win. If she finds out he only wanted her for my sake… maybe I shouldn’t be there.”
“Mm. She can’t blame you for that. Or the baby.”
“She doesn’t have to blame me to not want to see me.”
“Have you asked her?”
Brian shook his head. His jaw was clenched enough Nick could see he was going to be stubborn about it.
Nick hunted for other reasons to wait. “You might miss Christmas with Lori. It’s only four days away.”
“I don’t care. Family holidays aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. As long as I’m with you.” Brian hesitated, then added slowly, “But if you want to be with Charlie…”
“You’re all I need.” They stared at each other across the room. Luger whined softly and went to Brian, nudging him with his