“Yeah. I do know. I should be okay with it. I was fine with it.” Brian sighed. “I’m nuts. I’m sorry.”
Nick’s hand brushed against his temple. “Were you fine with it? Or did you tell yourself you have to be fine?”
“Is there a difference?”
“Of course there is.”
He knew that. He’d been down that road, with Dr. Murphy’s guidance, a bunch of times. What you thought you should feel and what you actually felt were often miles apart. But this was for Nick. Shouldn’t he be able to do for love what he couldn’t always do for himself?
Nick’s mouth brushed his, softly, then harder. “Hey. I liked what you were doing, up till the smack.”
“It was wrong. Abuse…” He couldn’t believe he’d hurt Nick.
“It wasn’t fucking abuse, Brian! I should know. It was just too rough for how I like to play.” Nick suddenly bit him on the neck, hard. Brian gasped but didn’t open his eyes. Nick licked the spot, softly. “That’ll leave a mark. And it’s not fucking abuse. Because you’ll tell me when it’s too much, right?” He bit again, higher up.
Brian shuddered, something inside him loosened by that nip of teeth on skin. “Yeah.”
“I’m still really in a mood to let you push me around and own me and fuck me. If you still want to.”
Brian was going to say no, to ask to bottom, but his dick rose in happy response to that idea. A pulse of heat ran through his groin. He raised a hand blindly, fumbled his fingers into Nick’s hair and held him still. Nick opened his mouth willingly for Brian’s tongue.
They kissed again, ramping it up. Nick squirmed over on top of Brian, one strong leg between Brian’s thighs.
“I’m still dressed,” he realized. He opened his eyes, reaching down for his zipper.
“I like it. Clothes on skin.” Nick slid off and rolled up to his hands and knees. “Fuck me. Like this.”
In the dim light of the bedroom, a reddened patch where Brian’s hand had landed still showed on one muscular butt cheek, but Nick wiggled his ass in clear invitation, one elbow braced, the other hand under himself, stroking fast. Brian’s moment of guilt was washed away in the shine of Nick’s eyes as he looked back over his shoulder, and the hum of Nick’s voice in time to that jerking hand.
“Pull your jeans down,” Nick said. “Not off. Fuck me. Hurry.”
Yes. Please. Yes. Brian’s dick was so hard again inside his jeans that he had to fight the zipper, his fingers feeling huge and thick and clumsy. He rose to his knees and tugged his waistbands down together, dragging jeans and boxers to his thighs. His cock bounced free eagerly.
“C’mon,” Nick urged him.
“Lube.” Brian leaned toward the nightstand, reaching for the drawer.
“What do you think I was doing in the john? I’m slicked as hell. Get that thing in me.”
But he’d come close to really hurting Nick tonight, and he wasn’t doing that again. He pressed a hand firmly on the small of Nick’s back, pushing his chest to the pillows, then reached under and tugged Nick’s hand away from his erection, gripping his wrist. “Wait.”
The lid of the bottle was a pain to flip with one fumbling hand, but he managed. The lube was chilly against the heat of his cock and still did nothing to slow him down.
He set it aside and rubbed two slippery fingers against Nick’s opening. Nick hissed, then said, “Don’t play around. Hard and fast. Make me feel it.”
So instead of the slow stretch Brian had planned, he responded with an unrelenting two-fingered press into Nick. Nick’s body yielded, ready and eager, and Nick’s groan of “Yeah. Fuckgooood” almost made Brian come right there. He pulled his fingers out, let go of Nick’s wrist, and squeezed himself hard around the base of his dick until he saw stars, not coming, not coming, wait, wait. Wait!
When he could catch his breath, he let go and lined himself up, his slick tip pressed against the hot invitation of Nick’s ass. Nick slid his hand back underneath himself, forearm flexing, and grunted, “Go. Hard.”
Tight. Pressure-push-need. His dick was bigger than fingers. Nick wasn’t as open as the last time they’d done this, and the squeeze around Brian’s cockhead was so tight he wasn’t sure he was doing it right. Until suddenly Nick’s ass gave way and he sank in, sheathed in clinging, stroking, clamped-tight, perfect body heat. So good, so