what she did unless it was to save her reputation. I couldn’t imagine Robert putting Adam through this, devout Catholic or not, but pity filled me.
Adam was a good man.
He was my good man.
I shuddered as he speared his tongue between my lips. It thrust against mine in a rhythmic way that made my heart pound. His hand came up to cup my breast, and it felt so good that for a second, I was kind of insensate, unable to respond to anything other than the feel of him. There.
He squeezed, and the moment disintegrated. “Thea?” he groaned.
Sighing as he moved down, his kisses turning frantic as he anointed my cheek, my jaw, my throat with them, it prompted me to whisper, “What?”
“I love you.” He spoke the words again, but this time, with a defiance I understood.
“I love you too,” I repeated, needing him to know.
Nerves filled me because even though I was so beyond ready for this, like I’d told Vinnie, I’d never done it before. I didn’t doubt Adam was no virgin. He’d pretty much admitted that to me before when we’d talked about anything and everything at Hawkvale.
The prospect of him sleeping with Maria made me feel sick, but I tried not to think of that, tried not to think of him with her—
“I haven’t.”
For a second, I wondered if I’d said that aloud, but he pressed his forehead to mine. “I-I wanted to,” he admitted. “Not because I want her, but because she pushed herself onto me, and what the fuck do I get out of this shitty situation if it isn’t sex?” He gulped. “But then, when it comes down to it, I hate her too much, detest her too much to want to touch her.” He gritted his teeth to the point where his next words were difficult to understand. “I didn’t know I could feel that way, Thea. And then, with that hatred, I wouldn’t want to because—” He hesitated, then, huskily, admitted, “I could hurt her. I hate her.”
“You couldn’t hurt her,” I chided, reaching up to cup his chin. “I know you, Adam. You forget that. I know you better than you know yourself. You’re a good man.”
“Not with her. She makes my skin crawl, and knowing that I’m going to have to raise another of her bastards like he’s my own?” He shuddered. “I love Freddie, I do, but—”
“Do you have to stay with her?”
“She’ll go to the cops.”
I frowned. “Statute of limitations?”
“Fifteen years. Or unless Cain gets an early release—God only knows when that will be. I can’t see him behaving inside.” He huffed out a bitter laugh that made my heart hurt to hear it. “Believe me, I checked all this out. I wanted to know the second I could be free.” He closed his eyes. “I don’t want to talk about this now.”
I knew what he wanted, and if I was being honest, I wanted it too.
I knew I was at a crossroads. A moment in my life that would take me in one direction or another, one that would define me.
But all I could think about was that this was Adam. And he loved me. He wanted me.
For years, as I’d been tortured by his absence, he’d been tortured too. I wasn’t sure why that made me feel better, bitch that I was, but it did.
How could our love be wrong?
And that was the justification I used when I pressed my lips to his and sealed our fate.
ADAM
The second her tongue slipped into my mouth, fluttering against mine, I wanted to groan with relief.
The years without her had been agony. Not just because I wanted her—with every fucking moment that passed and she grew more and more beautiful, I wanted her with an ache that made me feel like my bones were being eaten away—but because I missed her.
She was my friend.
My best friend.
My fucking soul mate.
I didn’t care if it was her heritage that gave me that clue. I knew it like I knew nothing else.
Being tied to another woman was a torment I’d only ever wish on Cain.
Because this was his fault.
This was all his doing.
It was like this was his pièce de résistance.
All the years of shoving me in blame’s way, making everyone hate me, this was what he’d been aiming for.
Except, I couldn’t believe he’d wanted to end up in prison.
If anything, that was the only thing that made any of this bearable.