My temper flared, raging through me like nothing else could. I wanted, so badly, to hit him. To punch him. To make him hurt. To make him ache like I did.
But then I’d be no better than my father.
So because I couldn’t hurt him, I slammed the door in his face instead.
Pressing my forehead against the door, I spat, “Go away. I hate you.” My words were tear soaked, and fuck if I didn’t hate myself for that too—as well as all the other shit our poison made me do. “I hate you,” I repeated, agony whirling inside me.
My misery made it clear that I didn’t hate him. If anything, my words of hatred proved the opposite, but I wasn’t capable of saying anything else.
Of doing anything else.
“Thea,” he whispered, and he sounded so close that I got the feeling his forehead was brushing up against the door too.
“No. You don’t have the right to do this to me.” I wiped my nose on the back of my hand. “Why are you here, Adam? What good does your coming here achieve? I’m trying to stay calm for tomorrow, trying not to freak out, and you’re here, messing with me. Fucking things up for me.”
“You know that isn’t my intention.”
“Isn’t it? You’re here accusing me of making a picture go goddamn viral. How would I even do that? All I did was look at you. And you looked back. That isn’t a crime, is it?”
“I miss you,” he repeated.
“You have no right to miss me,” I snapped, closing my eyes as the pain filtered through me like neat vodka, hitting my system as though it was pure alcohol.
“I love you.”
“You chose her.”
“I didn’t choose her,” he countered. “I chose—”
“You chose her,” I bit off, refusing to hear otherwise. “I should have known you couldn’t be trusted. Should have realized that your words were just lies.”
He released a hiss. “I didn’t lie to you.”
“No?” My mouth tightened, and evil witch that it made me, because I was hurting, the desire to make him hurt filled me. “That day, when the shit hit the fan, when Cain walked around the pool toward me, I genuinely thought it was you. Do you know that?”
A sharp gasp escaped him. “I’d never hurt you.”
“No? Well, there’s an irony to that, Adam. Every goddamn day, you hurt me more than Cain ever could. Now get the fuck away from me.”
My heart was pounding so loud I didn’t hear his footsteps fade as he walked down the hall, and my eyes were a blurred mess as I staggered back, sank onto Lori’s bed, and pushed my face into my hands.
I knew what it was to be alone. I’d been that way since he’d said ‘I do’ to another woman. I’d been that way since he’d picked Maria Lopez over me. And I’d be that way for the rest of my life, because if I couldn’t trust Adam, then who could I trust? And if I couldn’t have Adam, through my own choice, then why bother with someone who would never be able to compete with him?
A part of me wanted to cry, wanted so badly to let my emotions free, but I couldn’t. He was the source of my pain and the cure too.
I dug my fingers into my eyes, wanting to feel the ache, needing to. Something about Adam always made me feel this way, it was why I knew we were toxic together—the curse at work, even though I did my devil’s best to dance out of its reach.
A shudder whispered through me when I heard a faint shushing noise. I happened to peer up just in time to see the door moving inward.
My mouth fell open, and I gaped at the now open door where Adam was standing.
A little wildly, I stared at him, and he clenched his jaw at me.
I wasn’t frightened, I wasn’t even angry at his intrusion.
I didn’t know what I was, to be honest.
Stunned, sure. On edge? Definitely.
I thrust myself onto my feet, refusing to sit there looking diminished and as if I was cowering.
I wasn’t.
Everything about him hurt me, but somehow, it was easier to breathe when we were together.
I curled my nails into my palms and demanded, “How did you get the keycard?”
“Lori.”
I gritted my teeth. Fuck, she was a nuisance. She’d been giving me shit about that viral picture ever since it had started trending, so I