on his lap, then that’s exactly where I'm going to be. No question about it. Nic always gets what he wants.
I give in and relax into his hold, and seeing that resignation, he eases his grip on my waist. Nic tilts his chin, looking up and meeting my eyes, and in seconds I know what this is going to be about.
His hand comes up and brushes over my cheek, his knuckles rough against my skin but I can't focus on it. All I see are his eyes, desperately trying to pull me in. God, why does he have to look like this? Dark, scruffy hair, stubble over his sharp jaw, and a face tempting enough to have even the strongest of women breaking. He’s sexy as sin and it’s not fair. I can’t resist him. Add the bandana and the tattoos covering his body and I'm a goner. But when he flashes that cheesy as fuck grin my way, I melt.
“Don’t go, Ocean,” he murmurs, his heart breaking before my eyes and slowly killing me from within. “Stay here with me.”
My hands fall against his strong chest as I lean in and softly brush my lips over his. “I have to,” I tell him. “Mom is all I've got left. I can’t let her go alone. She’s my only family.”
“Ouch. That hurt,” he grumbles, twisting his arm to show off his tattoo that reads ‘No friends, only family.’
I let out a small sigh. “Come on, Nic. You know that’s not what I meant. You and the guys are everything to me, but this is my mom. I have to do this. What am I going to do in Breakers Flats without her? The bank has already taken our home. We lost the car last month, what else do we have to give? We have no other choice.”
“You can stay with me,” he insists, his eyes searching for something deep within mine. “I’ll get another job until you finish school and you know the boys will pitch in where they can. Come on, O. Tell me you’ll stay?”
I shake my head, hating the traitorous tears that begin welling in my eyes. “I can’t do that to you,” I whisper, my hands dropping to find his. I lace my fingers through his. “You’ve already got so much going on with the Black Widows. Not to mention when dear old dad goes down, all that shit is going to land on your shoulders. I’m only a distraction to you and it’s no secret that your mom hates me. It wouldn't work and you know that just as well as I do."
"O, please, don't do this. Don't go. We'll make it work."
"Don't make this harder than it needs to be. There's nothing here for me. If I stay, I'm going to end up pregnant to some sleazeball Black Widow whom you're just going to kill anyway. Nothing good could come from me staying here."
Nic releases my hand and curls his around the back of my neck, pulling me in and pressing his forehead to mine. "I know, but that doesn't mean that I like letting you go. It was supposed to be you and me."
"You ruined that, Nic."
"Believe me, I know."
I let out a heavy sigh and drop my face into the crook of his neck as his arms curl tightly around me. I only have a second before I break, and I can't have him see me cry. I want to be stronger than that.
Why does this feel like the end of something incredible? This hurts more than when he cheated. It's like I'm closing the book on a story that wasn’t finished being written, a story that hardly got a chance to shine.
My tears begin soaking into his shirt as I slip my arms up around his neck. "You'll come and visit, right?"
His fingers trail over the floral tattoo on my shoulder and my heart twists, clenching until it's almost impossible to breathe. Why did I have to get that tattoo? “Just try and keep me away, Ocean. Nothing could keep me from you."
“You know I love you, right? If things were different …”
“I know,” he says, pulling me back so he can see my face. His thumbs rub under my eyes, wiping away the tears. “I love you too, O. You’re always going to be my girl, but you need to quit this crying. You know your tears have a way of bringing out the worst in me.”