“Right,” she says, standing, tearing her clothes from her body and changing into PJ pants and a tee. “Just like nothing happened with me last night either.”
I want to tell her I’m serious. That he was a gentleman in every way, but I’m more concerned about her.
“What didn’t happen with you last night?” I ask gently. Her anger seems to have abated.
“Well,” she begins, sitting gingerly. Her eyes are unblinking. “I didn’t end up going back to Stuart’s room with him and another guy. We didn’t have sex. I didn’t…” she trails off and blinks back tears.
I’m in shock. She did it with two guys. One of which was Stuart. The guy gave me the creeps—the way he looked at her, put his hand on me.
“I didn’t. I—” she stops, breaking down, putting her head in my lap. Sobs rack her body. I’m frozen. Unsure about what to do. How can I comfort her? Clearly whatever happened, she didn’t want it to. My blood boils. If I ever see Stuart again, I’m going to scratch his eyes out. She snuggles her head against my knee, and I stroke her crazy hair.
“I’m so sorry, Gina. So sorry.”
She sniffles.
“What can I do? Tell me. If you want me to go over to Stuart’s and kick his ass, I’ll do it. Right this second,” I say, furious. Evil thoughts cross my mind. Like drenching him in gasoline and tossing a match. Running over him with a car. Beating him with a baseball bat. And I stop. Abigail would say I’m channeling my anger at Chief Hadley on the wrong person. Stuart may be a complete and total asshole, but he doesn’t deserve to die.
Gina wipes her nose on her comforter. “Thanks, Maddie.” With effort, as though she’s in pain, she sits back up. “I drink too much. I like to party. Sometimes I forget guys will take advantage of that. It’s nothing I haven’t been through before.” She shrugs. “Nothing that won’t happen again.” She’s picking at a string on her comforter, pulling and pulling and pulling until finally it breaks off.
I’m baffled. She’s brushing off what was probably rape. I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but she isn’t crying tears of joy, that’s for sure.
“If they hurt you, shouldn’t you report it?”
She laughs, a harsh dismal laugh. “And tell them what? That I came on to those guys? I asked for it. I wanted it. And then it hurt, so I asked them to stop. They didn’t.” She shrugs again, closes her eyes, and more tears fall.
I grab her another tissue feeling like a total idiot, a complete moron, an awful friend.
Gina grabs the tissue from my outstretched hand. “They’ll tell me to stop drinking, stop hanging around assholes. But they won’t be able to do more than that.”
I shudder to realize that could’ve been me. If Kyle hadn’t shown up, if someone else found me. “I’m sorry, Gina. I won’t let this happen again. I’ll be a better friend. I won’t leave you alone at a party again.”
She falls back, her head smacking the pillow. “Don’t go getting all Mother Theresa on me. What happened isn’t your fault.” She throws her arm over her eyes and sniffles.
I press my head against her pillow, so our heads are touching. “Still, if I’d been there, maybe I could’ve stopped them, or—” I smack my hand against the bed. “The next time I see Stuart I’m going to kill him, I swear.”
“Thanks, Maddie. Really. You’re a good friend.” Her voice is quiet, and I look over at her. “I’m going to sleep. Talk to you later.”
I climb off the bed, pull on a pair of jeans, ballet flats, and Kyle’s sweatshirt. Then think better of it and throw it on the floor. Pick up one of my sweatshirts and claw it on.
It isn’t as soft as Kyle’s. It doesn’t smell like him. Frustrated, I grab some gum and my music. The piano rooms open at five. I should get there just in time.
And I need to play. Play until my fingers are raw. Until I can’t see Gina’s devastated face, or Stuart, and the way he looked at her. I need to play until I can’t see the blood, so much blood, and the way my parents were laying still, so still on the carpet. I have to play until I can’t see the smug smile on Chief Hadley’s face when he walked into the interrogation room. I need to