is my dad such an asshole?” I wipe angry tears off my face. Stare up at my boring white ceiling. Watch the light flicker. The bulb’s been about to die for weeks.
Maddie shuts my window and plops next to me on my bed. “I watched him leave. He seemed… um, grouchy.”
I snort. Rub my jaw in the spot where my dad hit me. “That’s an understatement.” But that’s Maddie. Always kind. Always tries to see the best in people. Including me.
She pats my stomach, and I tingle. Maddie has a way of making me feel better, no matter what’s happening. “I’m sorry, Kyle.”
“Yeah, me too.” I shrug. Push the pillow behind my head into a ball and lean against it. “But what can I do?”
She rifles around in her bag, pulls out an ice pack, and hands it to me.
I’m sure shock is the expression plastered across my face. How does she always know exactly what I need? I press the cool pack against my jaw, and sigh. It feels good. “Thanks.”
“Wanna listen to my new CD?”
I smile. Because despite my ass-of-a-father, being around Maddie makes it impossible to be sad. “If it’s a song about bringing sexy back, Freckles, I swear I’ll snap it in half.” I laugh, and she smacks me on the arm with the case.
“Rude! I guess I’ll just put it away.” She goes to stuff it back in her bag, and I grab it from her hands.
“The Fray?” I ask, looking at it while holding it above her head so she can’t reach it.
“Give it back.” She giggles. One of my favorite sounds.
I stand on the bed, holding the CD out of her reach. She stands too. Tries to get it back. Her hands pulling on my arm as we jump. She trips in the covers and falls into me. We both go down, and she ends up on top of me. Our faces are inches apart.
“Give it,” she says again, her voice quiet.
I can feel her heart beating rapidly against my chest.
“Kiss me first,” I say.
Her gaze takes in my lips. Focuses on my eyes. I’m mesmerized by the way her features change so I can almost always tell what she’s thinking. Like right now she’s thoughtful. And just as turned on as I am.
“Like on the mouth?” she asks. A finger absently strokes her bottom lip.
I grab the finger and kiss it. “Yeah.”
It seems like a perfectly natural thing. She’s my best friend. The person I care about most in this world. Kissing her would be awesome.
Her eyes find my lips again. “Um,” she says, climbing off me and the bed. I sit up, waiting for her response. Hand her the CD. She walks to the player, puts the disc in. Turns up the volume. When she turns back, she’s smiling. “I—Okay,” she says, tucking her hands in her back pockets.
“Let’s make a pact.”
The music blares from the speakers. Maddie sits next to me. “What? Like a kissing pact?”
Love is an emotion I’m not familiar with, but as I watch Maddie’s eyes, the way her cheeks scrunch when she smiles, I think that’s what I feel for her. But I’d never tell her that. It’s uncool. Unmanly.
“Kissing.” I pause, considering how I want to say what I want to say. “Everything. We’ll be each other’s first. At it all. We can practice, get really good. You know, for when we’re older.”
She squashes her eyes shut, then nods. “Okay.”
“Repeat after me.” Maddie opens her eyes. Smiles. “Ready?”
She nods.
“I, Maddie Martin, swear to save all my firsts for Kyle Hadley. Including, but not limited to…” I trail off, and wait for her to copy my words.
“I, Maddie Martin, swear to save all my firsts for Kyle Hadley.” My breath hitches when she says my name. She’s beautiful. Maddie continues, “Including, but not limited to.” She blushes, and the shriveled mess that is my heart swells.
“Kissing. Hickeys. Uh, touching,” I say.
“Kyle, don’t be a perv.”
“I’m just trying to cover all the bases,” I say, realizing I really want to cover all the bases, with her and no one else. Maddie is the best person I’ve ever known. More than just beautiful, she’s kind and fun and sweet.
“Fine.” She shakes her head. “Kissing. Hickeys. And touching.” She repeats. “Anything else?”
“Sex, for sure.”
Her face gets even redder. “Holy crap. I had no idea.”
“Say it.” My body is warm, and so, so turned on. Never in all my eleven years have I ever felt so much for one person.