you think that is?” Before I can answer, he tells me, “Because not facing our problems is something we’re really fucking good at. You really think you don’t belong here? You think being from the Cliffs make you better or worse than us? You’re wrong.”
He speeds away from the light and I don’t answer. It’s true that I’d had expectations of Preston and the sort of people who went there. But knowing people like Georgia, like Vandy, like Sebastian, has dispelled a lot of them. Maybe he’s right. Maybe everyone is fucked up in their own way and the only things that really divide us are the arbitrary notions that our problems are somehow more insurmountable.
“So is that what I am?” I ask, knowing that this heavy, churning feeling in my stomach has nothing to do with the race. “One of those problems you don’t want to face? At least, not in public.”
He glances at me, quick and confused. “What are you talking about? I faced up to what happened that night, it’s not like—” He goes suddenly silent, eyes flashing in realization. “Oh. You think I blew you off back there.”
“I don’t need to think,” I argue, feeling tired. “You did blow me off.”
He scoffs. “It’s not like that. I just had to deal with my brother.”
I give him a blank look, trying to figure out how the two are even connected. “Whatever.”
He pauses, turning to give me a slower, calculating look. “Huh. I didn’t realize that about you.”
“Didn’t realize what?”
He shrugs, shifting gears to pass a car. “That you could be insecure.”
My jaw drops before clenching angrily. “Fuck you.”
“Not in a bad way,” he says. “You’re always so hard and tough, you just don’t put out that vibe. Plus, most of the time I sort of figure you don’t even like me that much. But if I didn’t know better, I’d say I hurt your feelings.”
“Please,” I mutter, scowling out the window at the passing trees. “Don’t flatter yourself, Wilcox.”
He stops at another light, grimacing. “Wow, it’s so bad that I’m ‘Wilcox’ again?” When I don’t answer, he curves tiredly over the wheel, car idling. His voice comes out quiet and ragged. “I don’t like my brother knowing my business. The way I wanted to kiss you back there would have aired it all out for him. It wasn’t personal.”
Exasperated, I meet his gaze, but all I find are weary eyes and a set jaw. “You’re a dick, Sebastian.”
His eyebrow raises. “Sebastian now. Getting warmer, eh?”
I roll my eyes. “Hardly.”
“Look,” he says, dragging a rough hand down his face. “I’ve been chasing your tail for weeks, and most of that was done under the risk of serious personal harm. I’m not a subtle guy, Sugar. If I want something, I don’t beat around the bush about it. I’ve told you that I’m into you—that I want you. Don’t let one little bullshit moment put doubts in your head about it.”
I argue, “Actions speak louder than words.”
He bursts, “Yeah, you’re right,” and then he kisses me. It’s a hard kiss, full of defiance and promise. He’s wrong about me being hard and tough—so fucking wrong—because the way he licks into my mouth just then makes me feel anything but.
The way I feel instantly mollified and set at ease is even scarier. “The light’s green,” I mutter.
He sighs against my lips. “If only.” He drives for a while and I watch the passing scenery, feeling oddly—embarrassingly—relieved. I have no idea when I went from wanting this guy to leave me alone to feeling relief when he assures me he won’t. After a bit, he breaks the silence with, “You realize you’re going to have to come to all my races now, right?”
I pull a face. “What? Why?”
He shoots me a toothy grin. “I won, baby, and that makes you my good luck charm.” He picks up the cash and hands it to me. “In fact, you should be the one to take it. You earned it.”
I toss it back. “No way. I’m not taking your dirty money.”
“Then pick a charity.” He shrugs, leaving the stack of money discarded in the console.
“Plenty of good causes out there. Maybe there’s a girl who needs her car fixed up, or I don’t know, the cat shelter even.”
I look at his earnest expression and then down at the money. “You’d really donate it to charity—and by charity I don’t mean me.”
“I know it sounds privileged as hell, Sugar, but I couldn’t care less what