catch before—so I duck out of the way before his responding punch can land.
My heel meets his knee hard enough that he actually cries out, a high-pitched snarl that’s sure to have gotten everyone’s attention. He buckles, going down on one knee, head flying back when mine crashes into his face.
It’s all a blur once I get on him, fist flying back and jerking forward. Maybe he gets one or two hits in—one to my jaw, another to my kidney—but all I see is red. Some of it’s this roaring, crazy explosion inside of me, but some of it’s his blood. My knuckles go numb as I hurl my fist forward, again and again. Only distantly, I can hear Sugar screaming at me to stop, but it’s muddled, like it’s happening underwater.
Doug gets his legs under him long enough to get me on the ground, but all I can see is that look on his face when he slapped Sugar.
Sugar, who looks so small here, in this wretched fucking house.
Sugar, who I promised to protect.
Sugar, who loves me, even though she shouldn’t.
The table with the glass and paperweight tumble over when I shove him into it, glass crashing all around us. Doug’s not content to stay down for long, even though I can see him tiring out, that wobble in his knee graduating to a full-fledged quiver when he tries to stand.
I’m younger and faster, and I find my footing first, using it to drive my foot into his face.
His head jerks back—there’s no way that nose isn’t broken—but Doug’s as dumb as a box of rocks. He won’t stop. It just makes me go faster and harder, knowing that he’s almost even competition for someone like me, but he’s content to use all that power against a little fucking girl.
At some point, he gets back up, and that’s fine. I wipe a wrist under my nose, not even tired yet. I can see him huffing for breath, though. He’s too worn to keep up with me—not enough stamina. I can have this motherfucker, lights out, in three more minutes.
I just need a little more time. A few more hits. A couple more kicks to the face. A little bit of time to appreciate that I’ve beat him. To savor the crash.
It takes me too long to realize that he’s beginning to look a lot like my brother.
By the time I do, Sugar is between us. “STOP!” Her eyes are wide and panicked, but if it weren’t for that, it’d just be the red welt on her cheek and the way she’s crying, and I probably wouldn’t be able to.
Marie is in the doorway, clutching her chest, wearing such a picture-perfect mirror of her daughter’s expression that all it’s missing is the welt.
That’s not what stops me, though.
It’s that Sugar is between us again. It’s taken me twice now, but I’m finally learning that she’s going to get hurt here. Holding me back. ‘Handling’ the two of us. Always clawing to control the situation, to remove the conflict. To get just a little fucking peace, Sugar will throw herself in front of my chaos. Every time.
I think that’s the point I really stop fighting.
I stop avoiding what I know needs to be done, because people like me and Sugar can’t afford that.
I lift my hands in the air, backing off. “I’m done.”
Doug spits a mouthful of blood on the floor, face still twisted in fury. “You’re gonna be done, boy. I’m going to fucking finish you.”
Marie steps in then, and at first, I think she’s going to hold him back. Instead, she rubs his back. “I’ll call the cops,” she says to me, face red. “So help me, I will!”
“No,” Sugar bursts, eyes wide and wet. “We’ll go, you don’t need to—I’m sorry.”
“Don’t fucking apologize to them,” I hiss, thrusting a finger at her mother. “You’re just as bad as him.”
“Don’t you talk to my wife,” Doug growls, irate.
I ignore him, shifting all this red-hot chaos onto her. “You knew what he was doing to her, didn’t you? She’s your own fucking daughter! What’s he? Some piece of shit you married?”
“You don’t understand anything,” she cries.
“I understand enough, and if she ever comes back here again, it’ll be to bury your fucking body.” To Sugar, I snarl, “Get your shit, we’re leaving.”
Despite having gotten his ass kicked, Doug looks satisfied in a way that doesn’t quite click until he says, “Don’t you ever come back. You hear me, you little