people were not allowed to heap onto me, for I was not even supposed to exist. Execution would have been a better end, for at least then my name would be written in the books again, because you cannot execute someone who does not exist.” She scrubbed at her eyes with the heels of her hands. “In truth, I expected death. But exile suited me. I was so angry. And not quite ready to die. So I left and will never return.”
The fisherwoman nodded, then slanted a narrow glance at her. “You did not say how your prince became a villain.”
“Ah.” With a hard laugh, Lizzan swiped at her cheeks. “I was named a deserting coward, and called delusional, and a liar . . . and yet he had been there on the battlefield. He had seen the tracks. He knew that I spoke truth. But he would not speak to the council on my behalf.” Her foolish eyes spilled more tears. “He said it would make no difference—that the court had already made up their minds and would dismiss the evidence he’d seen, because he hadn’t witnessed the battle in person. He was likely right,” she whispered painfully, shaking her head. “But it would have made all the difference to me.”
“So it would have,” the woman said, her voice deep with sympathy. “And then? For that cannot be the end.”
Lizzan laughed again, because if not she would continue crying. It had not been the end—though it might have been. The royal guards had been instructed to take her across the King’s Walk, but she had known what awaited her there. She had known it at her sentencing, when the outraged cries had drowned out her mother’s sobs, when spittle and stones and threats had flown in her direction. Since the court had not killed her, either the soldiers who still lived or the families of those who’d been slaughtered would see the proper justice meted out.
So Lizzan had slipped away from the guards. She could not go home or to the docks; they would look for her there. Yet there was another way off the island—in a cave on the windward shore was a small boat that she and Aerax had used often when they were younger.
She’d barely made her escape from the guards before Aerax found her, emerging from the darkness with Caeb at his side—as if they’d already been following the prisoner’s wagon. She’d still been angry with him. Angry, betrayed, hurt. Yet seeing him there, knowing he would have fought with her across the King’s Walk, had filled her shattered heart with so much warmth. Then he’d swept her up onto his horse, and they’d ridden for the windward side.
That short journey she’d never been able to forget, though she’d tried. No wind had there been that night. Only the whisper of falling snow, the rhythm of his mount’s hooves on the road, the gleam of Caeb’s harness as he’d run silently beside them, and Aerax’s arms holding her so tight.
It seemed the full distance she’d spent kissing him, though that could not possibly be true. She had been riding in front of him, so every kiss must have been swift and awkward with her head angled back against his shoulder. Yet so clear she could remember the frantic heat of his mouth, and the desperate sweetness each time she’d tasted his lips, and how each one had hurt—for the wounds on her face had barely begun to heal, and burned with the salt of her tears and at the slightest touch.
Yet if she could only strike one memory from her mind, it would not be the kisses or the pain. It would be that, for the duration of that short journey, she’d believed Aerax would go with her.
For so long, he’d wanted to leave the realm. And eight years had passed since the red fever. Eight years since they’d pledged themselves to each other but had not even been able to lie together on their moon night before being called to their duties. Eight years of devoting every waking moment to Koth.
But she was no longer a soldier, and the realm no longer needed a prince. The king had taken a half-dozen wives and produced other snow-haired babies since, so Aerax could leave the island safely—and the princess was still very young, but old enough to step into the king’s role if she needed to.
So Lizzan had believed she and Aerax could finally be together.