“Eden, can you close your eyes for me?” She let them slip shut, the outside world falling away. The dark was nice. “What happened down the hall? Can you walk me through it?”
She bit her lip. She couldn’t form the words, hadn’t realized she’d held her own hands out until Gabe’s slipped into hers. “Don’t touch me!” Her voice came out slow and lethargic, didn’t have the panic she felt as she forced her eyes open.
“No, it’s fine, I promise. Touch doesn’t work on me. See?” He reached forward, grabbing her hand again. There was no glow, no passing of Touch. She was shaking, the effect of his eyes, the calmness, wearing thin as she closed her eyes again.
“He fell apart,” she choked out.
Someone slammed against the door. Eden jumped, coming out of her stupor enough to hear Kristen’s protest, Gabe’s whispered curse. The door opened.
Impossible.
So impossible, but he smiled and it was his smile. Not someone who looked like him, not a mistake. His smile. Him. Alive.
“Az?” she whispered.
CHAPTER 16
“Eden,” Az sighed. He tried to hide what was left of the limp as he stepped forward. Another week and the leg would be healed, but for now it still twinged when he put his full weight on it. Kristen mumbled something to Gabriel about trying to stop him, but Az wasn’t listening.
Eden’s eyes flicked to Gabe, Kristen, back to him. She looked different. Fragile and hopeless and pale. Her eyes were swollen, tears staining her blotchy cheeks. He took another step forward, but she didn’t jump into his arms the way he’d pictured, looked more shell-shocked than happy. “You’re…How are you here?”
He turned to Kristen. She’d thrown an indignant hand on her hip, buried her fingers in the nasty fabric of her dress. “I told you this was not a good time. You chose to ignore me.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Kristen,” he mumbled, turning back to Eden.
“I saw you fall.” She started to shake, the quiver spreading through her as he watched.
“I know. But look!” He held out a hand, flipped it over. “See, good as new!”
Her head fell to her hands, palms pressing against her temples. A sob exploded from her as she leaped off the bed, into his arms. Az caught her, pulling her against his shoulder.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “If there was another way, I would have taken it.”
Her arms loosened, her voice muffled by his shoulder. “What do you mean ‘another way’?”
“For you to turn into a Sider.” Her hands slipped from his shoulders. He reached for them on their way down, but she pulled away.
“Wait.” She raised her hand, her gaze fierce as it searched his. “You know what I am?”
He nodded. “Once I knew you had no path….”
“You knew I was going to kill myself?” She stepped back. “Why didn’t you stop me?” This was not going how he pictured. Not by a long shot. Her face paled as she connected the thoughts. “You tricked me into thinking you were dead? What the fuck is wrong with you? I thought you loved me!”
“I do love you! I was trying to keep you safe!” he said as she backed away from him.
“Safe?” she spat. “I killed myself!”
“I have enemies, Eden! Enemies who would have come for you, done horrible things. Things you can’t even imagine. They knew about you! At least as a Sider they can’t kill you. Can’t take you away.” Selfish.
His vision blurred, the skin on his back tightening as his wings curled in on themselves. I destroyed her life.
“If I would have done it anyway, why did you make me think you were dead?” She spun on Gabriel. “And you. Did you know?” Her face fell when he hesitated.
“No,” Az whispered, Eden’s hatred ringing in his ears. “Not now.” But already it was starting, the swirl of black behind his eyes, the words like ribbons trailing through his head. All I do is hurt others. She doesn’t love me. Never will. She’ll leave me. Never look back. I will always be alone.
Fall.
“Az?” It was Gabe. “Kristen, get him.” A hand grasped his shoulder, another around his waist.
He stumbled, Kristen holding him up. It would be so easy to give in, to Fall. To let go.
“What in God’s name is wrong with him?” Kristen gasped.
“He’s only half Fallen. Part of him wants nothing more than to finish what he’s started.” Gabe’s voice lowered to a whisper, though Az still caught it. “I’ve gotta