Touch of Evil - Cecy Robson Page 0,61

barely feel it. All I sense is misery. “Emme, look, last night was really, really great. I mean, after we killed everything we had to kill and survived. It’s just…”

“It’s just what?” she asks, her voice sad.

I meet her face. It’s the least I can do. “I’m not good at these things. Having a girlfriend, I mean. It’s not something I’ve ever had before.”

Emme turns off the shower and steps out. Water drips down her body, gathering in droplets around her nipples. I want to lick them dry and she knows it. Instead, I reach into the linen closet and cover her with a clean towel.

She clasps my wrists, her hope fizzling out right in front of me. “I know relationships aren’t one of your strengths, and I know your life hasn’t been easy,” she begins.

My jaw clenches. “Emme, please don’t go there. Not about my folks, okay?”

I didn’t think it was possible, but her voice grows even more hurt. “I’m not trying to complicate things or make you feel bad, Bren. There’s just something between us, and I think you feel it, too.”

My frown deepens. “Em, I don’t know what I feel.”

Her gaze drops. “All right,” she says. “I understand. But I’d like you to understand that having a girlfriend, a relationship, isn’t something to fear.”

I think back to my parents. “Yeah. Sure.”

I step out of her reach but can’t quite bring myself to leave the bathroom. I take in her scent. Emme smells just like a cloud might, clean and peaceful.

Too bad I messed her up like I did.

She wraps her head in that cute turban-thing like girls do, pausing as if unsure to ask what she does. “Do you like me, Bren?”

“You know I do, Emme.”

She presses her lips. “I really like you, too. I didn’t know how much…until last night.”

“I get it, Emme. But I don’t do relationships.”

Damn. Here come the images of my parents again, loving on each other like they did, right up until they killed themselves and left me alone.

“It’s not easy for me to have people,” I remind her. “Dan, you and your sisters, you were the first.” I shake my head. “Do you see how I am with the pack? We’re supposed to be bros, but you and me know that’ll never happen.”

“Bren,” she says, her voice growing strained. “There are things you’ve experienced that continue to haunt you, and I’m sorry. But please, don’t let them keep you from enjoying the good things in life.”

“Like a girlfriend?” I offer. I don’t mean to be an asshole, but right now, I’m acting like one.

Emme’s shoulders droop. “I’ll never pressure you into something you don’t want. But if you’re ready for us, I’m ready, too.”

I try to kiss her when she reaches up. In that kiss, I want to tell her that I’m sorry. I want to kiss away the pain I’m causing. I want to show her how important she is and how I don’t really want her to go.

Emme denies me that kiss, turning away to hug me instead. It’s just as well. A kiss from me was where this all started.

It’s what I tell myself. But not kissing Emme feels wrong.

She loosens her grip around me. I hang on. I don’t want to let her go. But I do.

Guys like me, with screwed up pasts, don’t belong with the Emmies of the world.

Right?

* * *

When we sit down to eat, Emme mostly plays with her food, barely taking more than a few bites. No wonder she’s so small.

I fork some sausage and lift it up to her face. “Here, you eat like a bird.”

“Birds actually eat twice their weight,” Dan chimes in.

“Shut up, Dan. I’m trying to keep her alive over here.”

Emme giggles, and Holy God, it’s like music to my ears. Maybe she doesn’t hate me. Maybe everything will go back to normal between us.

She lets me feed her. I do a doubletake when I catch Dan with his jaw practically hitting the table.

I narrow my eyes at him. It’s enough for him to compose himself.

Emme swallows her food and smiles at Dan. “Thank you for lending me your sweatpants, Danny.”

“No problem, Emme,” he says. He motions with his fork. “You’re still swimming in them, but I’m sure they’ll fit you better than anything Bren has.”

I smirk. “That’s because you have those womanly hips, whereas I have a man’s body.”

“These hips help me get where I’m going and that’s good enough for me,” Dan fires back. He wipes