in merely discovering that hundreds of thousands of generations of masculine forebears had been mistaken as to its nature. The new theory that sex did not exist, and thus that sexual needs did not exist, was clearly superior. Men and women were now seen as “sames” or “identicals.” To be sure, there might be certain anatomical differences amongst human beings but these were negligible. For example, some people were taller than others, some had different-size feet, and such. It is interesting that populationalism remained a political issue in a world in which sex did not exist. But, as some historians had pointed out, generally in underground monographs, such apparent discrepancies in world views have not been unprecedented. Brenner, it might be mentioned, recognized that he himself had sexual needs, or, at least, seemed to have them. Often however, particularly on the home world, he had felt very isolated in this particular. And naturally it would have unthinkable to have uttered an admission to this effect. And so Brenner, and perhaps others, pretended not to have sexual needs. And, though Brenner did have the decency to be sensitive about these needs, he was not one of the more moral sorts who struggled not to have them. As usual, the most moral, or, at least, the most socially controlled, tended on the whole to be the most afflicted, miserable, and guilt-ridden, fighting to be whatever the current stereotypes told them they should be, lying awake at night tormented, troubled, and weeping, denouncing themselves for countless slips, errors, shortcomings, failings, and inadequacies, punishing themselves in orgies of self-castigation, self-contempt, self-scorn and such, which activities provided some gratification, but not much, and, of course, frequently resolving to do better but, for one reason or another, and probably for a very good reason, usually not managing it.
“You haven’t changed,” said Rodriguez, coming out of the bath.
Brenner could hear the vacuum in the hall outside. One of the maids must be cleaning the corridor.
He was still standing near the bed, in his wet clothes, his bag on the floor near him. The carpet was wet.
“No,” he said.
Brenner was disturbed by the sound of the vacuum cleaner, even though it must be some doors down the hall.
“Rodriguez,” said Brenner.
“Yes,” said Rodriguez, getting dressed.
“When you touched the maid,” said Brenner, hesitantly, “she moved a little, she made tiny noises.”
“Yes?” said Rodriguez, sitting on his bed, pulling on a boot.
“Why was that?” asked Brenner, uncertainly.
“Surely it is obvious,” said Rodriguez, looking over at him.
“No!” said Brenner.
“She was responding to my touch,” said Rodriguez, “and probably to the entire situation in which she found herself, and to what her condition is, and so on.”
“‘Responding’?”
“She couldn’t help herself, she’s hot,” said Rodriguez, working on the second boot.
“I don’t understand,” said Brenner.
“Frigidity is not acceptable in a contract slut,” said Rodriguez.
“I wish you wouldn’t use that expression,” said Brenner.
Rodriguez stood up, and stomped twice.
“Are you intimating that her behavior was—sexual?” asked Brenner.
“Certainly it was sexual,” said Rodriguez, irritably.
“Do you mean to suggest that she might have sexual needs?” asked Brenner, carefully.
“Of course she has sexual needs,” said Rodriguez.
“But sexual needs,” said Brenner, “do not exist.”
“Do not be naive,” said Rodriguez.
“Surely you are aware of the official position on this matter,” said Brenner.
“Of course,” said Rodriguez.
“Do you have sexual needs?” asked Brenner.
“Certainly,” said Rodriguez. “And so do you, unless you are crippled, or insane or sick, or something.”
Brenner was silent.
“What about it?” asked Rodriguez.
“What about what?” asked Brenner, uneasily.
“Do you have sexual needs?”
Brenner was silent.
“This is Company Station,” said Rodriguez. “This is not the home world.”
“Yes,” said Brenner. “I have sexual needs.”
“Good,” said Rodriguez. “Now say that again, and to another person.”
“I have sexual needs,” said Brenner.
“Excellent,” said Rodriguez.
Brenner felt happier, and freer, then than he had in years. It was as though a great weight had been thrown from him. He wanted to laugh, and cry, with relief.
“But we must be rare, and terrible,” said Brenner, though, at the time, given his elation, he did not feel, really, either rare or terrible.
“Then everyone must be rare and terrible,” said Rodriguez, “that is, everyone who is not crippled, or insane, or sick, or whatever.”
“But what of the indisputable scientific proofs that sexual needs do not exist?” asked Brenner.
“One supposes, except politically, that the existence of such needs takes precedence over the proofs that they do not exist. For example, the existence of one tree takes precedence over the proofs that trees are impossible.”
“Then the proofs are not really proofs,” said Brenner.