Torment Her (Rebels At Sterling Prep #5) - Caitlyn Dare Page 0,56
my eyes holding hers. I hate the hurt that fills them. Guilt swamps me. I put that concerned, vulnerable look on her face… but I don't know what else to do right now.
I'm terrified.
More terrified than I have been in my entire life at the thought of touching her and allowing it to go too far.
What if I'm too rough and I mark her again? What if I hurt her and it makes her think of him? What if...
My head spins with possibilities, all of which end with her hurting and me being the cause.
I refuse to be anything like that cunt.
I want her safe. I want her happy. I just... I just want her. And if that means I need to sacrifice my needs to ensure her happiness, then I will. Every day of the fucking week.
"What, Conner? What is the problem?" Her voice cracks and pain fills her eyes.
"It's nothing,” I say, trying to make my voice as light as possible. “Let's just get this fixed and we'll go watch that movie."
"Fuck the movie, Conner. I don't want to watch another fucking movie."
"Okay, we don't have to. We can do something else."
Her lips press into a thin line. "Something else?" she snaps. "Like what, a board game?”
My eyes drop from hers as my chest constricts. "I—"
"You said you love me. You said you're not repulsed by me. Why can’t you touch me? It’s not like we haven’t already done it all. So what's the problem?"
"There's not—"
"Bull. Shit," she spits, making me feel like a piece of shit for not being able to give her what she needs. "You didn't have a problem when you fucked me like you hated me. Where's that guy gone?" Her brows rise and her hands land on her hips as she waits for my response.
"I never hated you, K."
"That's not..." She blows out a frustrated breath and tugs at her hair. "That's not what I meant. Fucking me like you hate me doesn't mean you actually hate me. Jesus, where's the guy who had so much fire he left fingerprints on my hips last week? Where's the guy who walked headfirst into a fight that nearly got him killed?"
"He's not the guy you deserve, K."
"Who the fuck are you to tell me what I deserve?"
I open my lips to respond, but I don't get a chance to form any words. She climbs off me and out of the car.
She marches away from me and I panic. We're not all that far from the house, but it's pitch black out here. Anyone could pick her up and do... a shudder ripples through me at the thought.
"Kenny, wait." Running after her, I wrap my fingers around her wrist and pull her back into me.
"What?" she barks, narrowing her eyes at me. "You want me all of a sudden?"
The heat of her body seeps into mine, and my need to lean down and kiss her is all-consuming.
I step into her farther, forcing her to step back until she's pressed up against the driver's door.
"Conner," she breathes, her body crushed between me and the car.
My hand lifts, cupping the side of her neck. Her pulse thunders beneath my touch.
"I need you, Con. I fucking need you."
My lips crash to hers, my tongue pushing past her lips to tangle with hers. She moans into my kiss, her body going lax in my hold.
Her hands slip under my shirt, her nails raking down my back and making me shudder as desire washes through me.
Lifting her leg, I wrap her thigh around my hip and grind into her. She cries out in pleasure as my fly presses against her clit and her head falls back against the car with a bang.
"Oh fuck."
My hand slips around to the front of her throat and I squeeze lightly, but the second I do the image that's been haunting me since I discovered her secret slams into me and I have no choice but to back away.
His face fills my head, mixing with the bruises, the pain, the cries.
"Fuck," I bellow, turning my back on her.
"Conner, what the—" Her words are cut off as a car pulls to a stop behind mine, the headlights illuminating both of us.
"You can't touch me, can you?” she whispers, her voice cracking.
Guilt consumes me, washing through me like a tsunami and threatening to drown me. I don’t want to hurt her, yet that’s all I seem to be doing right now.