In what felt like even slower motion, I flew in front of the car and tackled her forward, sending us hurling head-on into a bus bench on the sidewalk. With a thud, my body sandwiched hers to it.
As Dana let out a bloodcurdling scream, I rolled to my back and pulled her down on top of me. Overwhelmed with panic, I slid out from under her and looked her up and down. I could hear motorcycles starting up. “Babe, you okay?” I rasped.
“The baby!” she cried out, holding onto her stomach.
What?
Oh, Christ. No.
It hit me then that I’d sent her midsection slamming right into the corner of the bench, the weight of my body making the impact even more devastating. It also hit me why she’d been more moody and pissy than usual the last few weeks.
Shit.
Gauge came flying over and knelt down next to her. “Babe… Fuck… We called 911, just hang on, okay?”
“Liv!” I heard Torch roar over the sound of his bike. I looked up to see him skidding to a stop next to us.
“I’m fine, go after the car!” I yelled.
He frowned but gave me a nod and went tearing down the road, several guys already ahead of him.
There was nothing I could do except wait for the approaching ambulance—the sirens were already getting close—so I set my sights back on a shell-shocked Dana and just held her hand as Gauge wrapped her in his arms.
Jesus, what the hell had I done? Why hadn’t I seen that bench and angled away from it?
My throat tightened and tears filled my eyes. “God, I’m so sorry,” I muttered, hanging my head as the reality of what I’d caused overwhelmed me.
: 15 :
| LIVIA |
After a brief moment of hesitation, mostly because I wasn’t sure what the hell to say, I knocked on Dana’s hospital door and cracked it open. Gauge was sitting next to her on the bed with his arm wrapped around her shoulder. “Hey, Liv. Come on in.”
Dana looked up, her tear-streaked cheeks instantly crushing my soul. I’d never seen her this broken. It may have been the pain meds, but her eyes were seemingly void of life. “I’m glad you’re here,” she said, her voice just as lacking in its usual energy. Glancing up at her husband, she asked, “Babe, can you give us a minute?”
He kissed the top of her head and slid off the mattress. “You want me to get you anything?”
“I’m okay,” she murmured.
“Okay, baby. I’ll be right outside.” He walked toward me and squeezed my arm. “Did you get checked out?”
“Yeah, Beanie made me see a damn doctor against my will. Just some bruises,” I assured him.
“Good, I’m glad. Liv… Thank you. It could’ve been a lot worse.”
I forced a pained smile, my heart aching for him just as much as Dana.
I wasn’t about to press her or Gauge for details, but I’d been told her spleen had ruptured from the trauma and she’d had emergency surgery to remove it. Somewhere along the way, she’d lost the baby none of us knew she was carrying. Of course, not knowing wasn’t easing my guilt at all. I should have known. If I hadn’t been a stubborn bitch and picked up the phone to call her a few days earlier, I probably would have.
I’d done nothing but replay the hit-and-run over and over in my head, trying to figure out what I could have done differently in that crucial moment. Maybe if I’d grabbed her in a different way or shoved her to the side instead of pushing her forward… Maybe if I’d stepped off the curb a second faster… Maybe if I’d taken that fucking helmet with me instead of running back to give it to Torch… There were so many maybes running through my brain that my memory of the scene was starting to become a blur.
More than anything, I was shrouded in guilt and felt like an utter failure for not protecting both mother and child. I was pissed at myself, the asshole driver, and frankly, Torch, who I had a feeling knew exactly why this had happened. He’d promised—fucking vowed—to keep me in the loop. Two months into our marriage and he was already going back on it. What the fuck?
No more, we were settling this shit today. I wasn’t a fan of ultimatums and had no intention of making a run for it, but if I