It was his turn to laugh. ‘Because you intrigue me. I want to know more. I don’t want to mess things up by rushing in too fast.’
Oh God, he was a gentleman. ‘The thing is, Sam, time is something I don’t have with a five-year-old. I don’t “do” dating and I’m not looking for a relationship.’ She sighed, moving into him again, getting in his personal space, reaching an arm up and running a hand through his hair. ‘This can just be easy and fun,’ she whispered, seeing how his eyes dilated at her touch.
For several long seconds, they stood there, eyes locked, feeling the energy flow between them. Then she stood on tiptoe and kissed him again, once, twice, feeling his lips respond, his barriers weakening, chivalry collapsing . . . His hands gripped her arms, pinning her to him as the kiss became deeper and more involved and she felt that rush of freedom and abandon come into her body, as it always did when she could lose herself like this.
They pulled apart, his eyes burning with a heat that had been on a gentle simmer since their first meeting. It took the breath from her now. ‘So you’re saying it’s this or nothing?’ he asked, both of them breathless. ‘You want me to just fuck you and then leave?’
‘If you wouldn’t mind,’ she smiled, pressing herself to him again, eyes hooded with desire.
He looked back at her, emotions raging behind his eyes, his hands still on her arms, before he carefully stepped her back, out of his orbit. ‘. . . Then I’ll go.’
She gave an astonished laugh. ‘What?’ He had to be joking, of course, but when he didn’t smile back . . . ‘Sam? What’s the problem? We both want this, don’t we? We’re consenting adults.’
He stepped away from her again, as though establishing a safety zone. ‘This wasn’t what I came over for.’
‘What are you . . .? Of course it was!’ she scoffed, disbelief turning into panic now. Humiliation. Anger. ‘Okay, fine, I get you may have expected a little more . . . conversation. Perhaps some food. But what’s the point in delaying? We both knew where tonight was going to end up.’
‘No. I was hoping for more than that.’
‘More than . . .?’ She was confused. What was more than a night of no-strings passion?
He stared at her for a moment, an entire monologue left unsaid in the air as words were tried and discarded in his head. ‘Goodnight, Lee.’
‘This is ridiculous!’ she cried as he walked over to the kitchen table and retrieved his phone. ‘Sam, you’re not seriously—’
But he slipped from the room without looking back, his feet heavy but quick on the stairs, the click of the front door telling her he was deadly serious.
He had gone.
Chapter Seven
Lee stood on the street, staring up at the door. It had taken her by surprise. Of all the doors she might have expected him to have, this was not what she would have chosen. It was a super gloss blackish-green. It was panelled. It was double-width with bronze mask-head knockers. It was pristine.
He had never been pristine in his life.
She wasn’t quite sure what she was doing here. She certainly hadn’t consciously made the left turn onto Prinsengracht on her way to the studio; she hadn’t dropped Jasper at nursery with the intention of coming on here. And yet here she was. Outside his door. His home. A home he had left. A home she had had the address for, for five years, and never once visited before today.
This was ridiculous. She needed to get out of here before someone saw her. He wasn’t even in there. What was she doing here?
‘Lee?’
She turned, startled at the sound of her name. ‘Oh shit,’ she hissed to herself, not moving her lips, as Gisele drew nearer, pedalling in easy loops, her long light-brown hair tied in a loose plait, her cheeks stung pink by the breathtaking cold. She had freckles and milky skin, a face that echoed with smiles, coltish legs emphasized by clumpy Balenciaga boots.
‘I thought it was you!’
Gisele stared at her uncertainly for a moment, then jumped off the bike and they air-kissed like the old friends they weren’t. Lee felt mannish and oversized as her hands folded over the bony nub of Gisele’s shoulders; everything about her was delicate.
‘Gisele, how funny, I was just about to knock.’ Lee smiled awkwardly at the