growing dismay as she covered her contempt with a smooth, bulletproof politeness; it was the kind of ‘bullshittery’ – his favourite word – that he had always deplored, which had given her some satisfaction, at least.
She had learnt that Gisele was six years younger even than her, but it hadn’t surprised her: he had always attracted younger mates – though weathered from hard years of living in conflict zones, Cunningham had somehow retained a vigour for life that knocked decades off his actual age. His easy, cavalier manner and the half-smile permanently on his lips were juxtaposed with eyes that had seen death too many times, in too many ways, and the fracture this drew through him was intoxicating – men saw the heroic crusader, women the wounded soldier.
He’d invited her to their wedding a few months later but Lee had ignored it, as he had probably known she would; every letter, text and call went unanswered. They had only had one true conversation since Syria and it had been terminal. He knew perfectly well why: he knew what he had done. There was no going back and she had seen the pain in his eyes on the cobbles that day. It gave her a boost if ever she was feeling low.
From what Dita had told her, he’d been back from his most recent trip – to Tehran – maybe ten, eleven months. It was the longest anyone had ever known him be out of the field and she’d assumed, like everyone else, that this was his life now. Semi-retired, he had a beautiful wife, a baby on the way, responsibilities, people who loved and needed him. Why risk that?
He had been badly injured by shrapnel from a drone strike and had had to be airlifted out with a US marine unit, his left leg held together by a splintered floorboard and tied on with the rags of his own trousers. Dita had told her, without being asked, that it had been months before he could walk on it unaided and he might always have a limp now; he certainly couldn’t run about a war zone yet.
And if he couldn’t run, then how could he be safe?
And if he couldn’t be safe, what good was he dead?
He knew all this. He had taught her this. So what the hell was he up to?
Chapter Six
They lay sprawled on the sofa, Lee curled around Jasper, the fire flickering away. They were watching Return of the Jedi and only a few hard kernels of popcorn were left in the bowl on the floor; the lightsaber Noah had bought him was lying on the ground too, ready to be picked up and inter-galactic fighting continued the moment the film finished. To the casual observer, this was just another lazy Sunday in their household, but Lee had been hard at work behind the scenes – she had hoovered; she had stripped, washed and ironed the spare bedroom sheets; she had washed her hair; she had used her most expensive body lotion (her only extravagance: clean, scented skin was the truest luxury after years of no bathing and rubble dust); and under her boyfriend jeans and black cashmere sloppy joe, she was wearing her best lingerie.
She was lying still, Jasper nestled in the crook of her arm, but really she was watching the minutes tick past. She had timed everything to perfection. The film was 136 minutes long – she knew that because she had watched it with Jasper nine times now – so she had ensured they began watching at twenty to five to guarantee a finish just before seven. The last thing she wanted was a meltdown because they received a visitor with twenty minutes of the film left.
The credits began to roll and Lee felt the butterflies take wing in her stomach. She had been unaccountably excited all day. She gave a stretch. ‘Hot chocolate?’ she asked, tickling him in the ribs to get him to move.
‘Only if I can toast marshmallows.’
‘Oh, all right then,’ she grinned, amused that he considered he was doing her the favour.
She got up and began heating the milk in her coffee machine frother when the doorbell rang. Perfectly on time. She swallowed, falling still for a second. This was it, then.
‘Oh, I wonder who that could be?’ she asked aloud, sounding as wooden as a spoon. ‘Jazz, do you want to get that for me?’
He stopped a saber swipe mid-pose and looked at her in surprise. ‘But