Or an exclusive position in academia, should he follow in his parents’ footsteps. Tina’s emotional health was improving at a rapid rate. Now that she knew her clan wasn’t going anywhere, that she could count on them to remain close—
But they weren’t.
Tukui froze in his seat, his readouts blurring out of view as realization struck him like a thunderbolt.
Oh shit. We fucked up. Sweet Mother of All, I fucked up, and not just a little.
His surroundings rocked, and he gripped the edge of his panel to steady himself. How could he have been so stupid?
Tina couldn’t remain with him and Osopa on a spyship. Even during peace time, the danger posed by clandestine missions to enemy territories barred civilians from living on board such a vessel. The situation was the same if they were to score those desired posts on a destroyer, a craft built specifically for battle.
Why had he failed to recognized it before?
His thoughts edging on panic, Tukui glanced at Simdow. Like Osopa, the first officer was a dedicated fleet officer on the rise. How was he handling the upcoming separation from his new Matara?
Simdow wasn’t much older, but between the two of them, Tukui could easily admit the other Dramok was more responsible. No doubt Simdow had given great consideration to how he would handle his career while keeping his Matara foremost in his plans.
She must not have the abandonment fears Tina does. Still, Simdow must have weighed his choices carefully.
Tukui wished he could ask the first officer about his decision, but Captain Tranis and Weapons Commander Lidon were on the bridge. He didn’t dare bring up personal issues while on duty. Especially when the captain had made a point that they consider all ramifications before clanning an Earther.
I failed to do that. I was typical Tukui, rushing into things without a second thought. Tina could suffer from his impetuousness.
No. She’d suffered enough. If Tukui was to be the Dramok she needed, he’d have to leave the fleet. Or at least downgrade his goals and settle for duty on a noncombat vessel so he could keep her close. As boring as that would be after the excitement of the last couple of years, he could manage the sacrifice. Tina was worth it.
Yorso could join them, but that would mean no chance at remaining a cultural attaché. Or anything else in line with his chosen profession. He’d be giving up a lot. Yorso would probably agree that giving Tina the security she needed was the top priority, but it would be a major sacrifice on his part.
And Osopa—
Tukui glanced at his Nobek. Osopa wore his inscrutable duty face, but Tukui knew him well enough to divine his clanmate was pleased to be doing his job. He’d voiced no complaints about the challenging conditions that came with working on an alien vessel. The fleet was his career, and he held a position he was proud to have attained.
Osopa had labored the hardest to get where he was. There was no doubt that Tukui’s Nobek deserved to achieve his goal of becoming a destroyer’s weapons commander, and eventually, a captain. Hell, he’d probably end up an admiral when it was all said and done. Then he could opt to be stationed on Kalquor, and they’d all be able to live together. But such dreams were years, maybe even decades, into the future.
How could Tukui ask Osopa to surrender all he’d toiled for since he was a kid in training camp? How could he not, when Tina needed the reassurance of her entire clan by her side?
Despair washed through Tukui. Tina had to come first. For him, it was a simple call. He could easily walk away from his navigation post for whatever job that would keep him with his Matara. But to demolish the careers Osopa and Yorso had striven for? To insist they give it all up because their Dramok hadn’t seen beyond the immediate excitement of a female lifemate? Even for the precious gift that was Tina?
Tukui would have to think long and hard about what had to happen for the good of his clan. He couldn’t trust to luck on this one. This was no time to cast the die and let the future figure itself out.
Ancestors help me, because I don’t have a clue how to handle the mess that I’ve made.
Chapter Thirteen
Evening had rolled around. Yorso headed down the alcove-studded corridor to the dining hall. He blinked in the too-bright beige surroundings, studying Tina’s list