her fair skin white with exhaustion. Lying on the sleeping mat, offering herself with no sign of passion, only frightened resignation.
“Right.” Lidon eyed Tukui with quiet inspection, the aura of savagery gone. After a moment, he went to his desk, picked up the beating stick, and tossed it in a drawer.
Tukui stared. If the weapons commander wasn’t whipping him, what awful punishment did he have in mind instead?
“I’ve warned you and Zevs about your rivalry, which should have been over once Yorso joined your clan.” Lidon crossed scarred arms over his chest, his demeanor severe but no longer dangerous.
His silence indicated Tukui should explain after all. “Zevs is jealous. Probably more so now that I’ve clanned Tina. His comments on how I don’t deserve either her or Yorso got to me.”
“Was he correct? Are you undeserving of your Imdiko and Matara?”
The admission spilled out. “That’s what I’m afraid of. Especially her.”
Lidon’s brow lifted, but otherwise, his expression didn’t change. “Tell me this, Tukui. How would your Matara feel about seeing your ass covered in welts because you behaved recklessly? How would you feel about her witnessing that? Answer your own question: is this the clan leader she deserves?”
The beating would have been better. Far better than this reminder of how inadequate a Dramok he was. Tukui wished he could crawl under Lidon’s desk and hide. “No sir.”
There was a long silence as Lidon stared at him. Evaluating. Telling Tukui without speaking that he was an abysmal failure.
It felt an eternity had passed before the big warrior spoke again, his voice shockingly soft. “It’s for your Matara’s sake that I won’t send you to her in the condition you deserve. Not so soon, when her world has been turned upside down. This kindness isn’t for you, Tukui.”
The young Dramok’s jaw dropped. He wouldn’t be disciplined? “Thank you, Weapons Commander. It won’t happen again.”
Lidon’s eyes narrowed, and his more threatening nature reappeared. “This isn’t a game, Dramok. This is a young woman’s well-being you’re fucking with. You’ve accepted the responsibility of a Matara, an Earther Matara. I won’t remind you of that again.”
As relieved as he was to be keeping his ass intact, despair was the greater force. It escaped. “If I just knew how to help her—” Realizing his mistake, Tukui cut the words off and straightened. “I’m sorry, Weapons Commander. You’ll have no reason to bring me in here again.”
Lidon’s glare never wavered. “If there is a next time, you’ll not only pay for whatever new transgression brings you to me, but this one as well. You’ll sleep standing up for at least a month.”
“Yes, Commander. I understand.”
“Get out of my sight. You’re late for duty.”
Tukui headed for the door, feeling less of a man than when he’d come in. He’d been forced to confront his inadequacies, both by the weapons commander’s few statements and what he’d left unsaid.
I’m unworthy of Tina. I have to change that. But how?
“Navigator.”
Tukui stopped in the doorway and turned to face his superior officer again. “Sir?”
Lidon wore an expression devoid of emotion, as Osopa did when he was on duty or hiding his feelings. At that moment, Tukui was struck by how similar the two Nobeks looked.
For all the lack of feeling in his demeanor, Lidon’s rumbling voice was surprisingly gentle. “I hope Matara Tina feels better soon.”
Tukui swallowed, touched by the tough bastard’s kindness. “Thank you, Commander. Me too.”
Chapter Six
At the end of the shift, Tukui departed the bridge with Osopa. His Nobek had been on Europa for the early part of his duty, showing up on the bridge halfway through his assigned hours. Osopa hadn’t shown any emotion when he’d arrived, but his gaze had settled on Tukui for longer than usual. No doubt he’d heard about the fight and knew Tukui had been to Lidon’s office. For a spyship devoted to discretion, there were damned few secrets among the crew.
When they were released from duty, Tukui set a pace that meant he and Osopa lagged behind the others departing the bridge. Usually, he’d be in no hurry to be alone with his Nobek after getting into trouble. Osopa was as adept at peeling a man’s hide with sharp words as Lidon was with his stick.
When they were adequately alone to manage a semblance of private conversation, Tukui prodded him. “Go ahead. Let me have it.”
“You’re inviting my anger? That’s a change. You’re walking better than I anticipated.”