'Til There Was You - Jerry Cole Page 0,95

was... none of it mattered because he wasn’t with Finn.

“Yin and yang,” Cassidy nodded his understanding the next morning when Austin explained this to him. He’d barely slept a wink since one in the morning, and it showed in the way he rambled and fidgeted in his seat.

“Ying and – what are you talking about?” They were at a café for breakfast, but Austin hadn’t ordered a thing. He couldn’t stomach food with the way he was feeling. A coffee only, and that was just to keep him awake.

“Ying and yang,” Cassidy said again. “That Chinese symbol – you know the one. It’s the circle with the white and black in it. They sort of meld together like a wave and fit perfectly. Nice and snug-like.”

“I know what it is,” Austin sighed and slurped his coffee. His hand was shaking from how tired he was. “But what does it have to do with me and Finn!”

“I’m saying that you are not whole without your other half – your yang. And Finn, realistically, isn’t whole without his yin. Apart, the two of you are useless. Together, the two of you are one. Ying and yang.” Cassidy leaned back in his chair and triumphantly folded him arms. But then his breakfast arrived and he yelped excitedly as he tucked into it without so much as a breath.

As for Austin, he watched Cassidy eat in silence, using the rarity of the moment to ponder on what he had just said. But that was only because it made so much sense.

Austin had had a few boyfriends in his life, but none had come even close to Finn. And even though at the time he would have had himself convinced that he was in love, it was never even close to what he and Finn had shared.

And it wasn’t just how sexy Finn was, or how good he was in bed, or how funny and charming he was, or even how well the two got on. It was more than that. It was the way that Finn made him feel and act. It was the way that Austin wanted to be when he was with him. He wanted to be a better person. He yearned for it! Being with Finn literally brought out the best in Austin.

He had no idea of course if this was the same for Finn. Their phone call two nights ago had been relieving, and had acted as a perfect last chapter to their romance. But it didn’t have to be that way. Finn had sounded happy to hear from him. But he’d also sounded sad, and lost and lonely. He was fleeing the country after all. Was it possible that Finn needed Austin as much as he needed him?

“What ya thinking about?” Cassidy asked as he shoveled a full sausage into his mouth. It was like he was trying to look as if he were deep throating the thing.

“Honestly...” Austin furrowed his brow. “I’m thinking that I should move to India.”

“Good one!” Cassidy threw his head back and cackled at the joke. But then he saw how serious Austin was. “You can’t!”

“Why not?”

“Work,” Cassidy tried. “What will you do for work?”

“I’m a writer,” Austin responded rightly.

“Ah...” Cassidy pushed his tongue into the side of his mouth. “The language! You can’t speak... Indian? What do they speak in India?”

“They speak hundreds of languages, but I think you’re referring to Hindi.” Austin was only being half-serious, if that, about India. But arguing with Cassidy was slowly making the idea seem more concrete.

“That!” Cassidy nodded as if he had just won. “You can’t speak Hindi.”

“I’ll learn. Or download an app. Or just point to everything I need.”

Cassidy scrunched his face up, looking like he was about to explode.

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t go?” Austin demanded.

“Because... because... it’s India.” He scrunched his nose up in disgust. “It’s hot and loud and... and dirty and... I knew a guy that went there once and used a public bathroom. They had to amputate his foot!”

“Think of all the money he’d save on shoes,” Austin joked.

“Austin—”

“I’m kidding!” Austin eased.... even if it was a lie. “Jesus, you’d think I told you I had suddenly turned straight.”

“You scared me.” Cassidy touched at his chest like he’d just had a heart attack. “India.” He shook his head to himself. “And for what? A man that might not even want you there – I'm sorry to say it, hon. But what if you turned up and he