'Til There Was You - Jerry Cole Page 0,88
a new story that would carry across two more books. And for a week now, he had failed.
Austin stared at that blank page, determined to keep his mind on what he was trying to write, and not on where it wanted to go. He knew of course why he had no motivation, no drive, no desire... he was more than aware, but fuck, he hated to think about it. Even though that was all he did.
But how could he not? The reason Austin had been able to whip up his novel so effortlessly last time was because of Finn. He had wanted to impress him, to show Finn what he could do and ultimately, make the stud fall for him. It had been a project of passion, and that was why it had been so easy.
Every time Austin tried to write, he went down this same path. And every time it led him to the same place; Austin descending into misery as he thought about Finn and what had happened between them.
The relationship had ended badly. It was as simple as that. They’d gotten into a stupid fight, they hadn’t resolved the fight, and now they were done. The reason for the fight was oh, so stupid too! That’s what made the whole thing worse. If Austin could justify it in his head, then maybe he’d be able to get past it. But he just couldn’t do that.
Austin wasn’t even sure who was right and who was in the wrong anymore. He didn’t give a shit. He wanted to hear from Finn. He was desperate!
But he’d left it too long. What amounted to six weeks since their fight, and with no contact, there was just no way he could put himself out there like that. Austin had changed a lot recently, but not that much.
It was just as Austin was starting to feel the sting of depression that his phone vibrated in his pocket. Five weeks ago that feeling would have sent his heart lurching through his throat. Maybe it was Finn? Maybe he was apologizing? Maybe they’d be back together soon... but that was five weeks ago. A lot had changed in that time.
The message was from Michael, as it always was now. “Don’t forget tonight!”
Austin grimaced at the message, but quickly wrote back, “Don’t worry, I’m all over it.” He then shoved his phone in his pocket, looked back at the blank page, realized he wasn’t going to be doing any writing today and figured he may as well start getting ready for tonight instead... at least it would give him time to get a couple of drinks in.
And what was tonight exactly? Austin had himself a date. And not with Eduardo either. This was a new man called Wallace, one that Austin hoped turned out better than Eduardo had. Not that it would be hard.
As Austin hurried into the kitchen and made his first drink of the night – but not his last – he managed to find a slither of amusement over the fact that it was now he who was the fuckboy, going on multiple dates with different men. It was something he’d never thought he would ever be able to do. And really, something that he had never wanted.
Austin was a one-man kind of guy. This whole dating thing, sleeping around, being a general asshole, just wasn’t him. He wanted one man and one man only. If only that man had wanted him back.
***
“... you don’t say.” Austin forced a smile and held it the best he could. “That’s... fascinating.”
“That’s crunch time for you.” His date’s name was Wallace, and he was so not Austin’s type. He was smaller than Austin in both height and frame. He was balding, but the combover suggested he refused to admit it. And his mustache was one of those pencil-thin ones that nineties porn-stars used to have. “Crunch time is what we call it in the biz,” he finished with a wink.
“I assumed,” Austin chuckled and quickly finished his glass of wine.
“It’s not all work though.” Wallace smirked across the table at Austin and ran his fingers over his mustache. “Once crunch time is over, we get about one month of what we call ‘play time.’ You can probably imagine what goes on then.”
“I hardly can.” Austin folded his fork and knife across one another on his dinner plate. The food was pasta and it was only half-eaten, but Austin was done. He indicated to a waiter that