someone should dictate how we live going forward?” he asks, threading and unthreading his fingers together.
“It depends,” I say. “I think you can probably honor someone’s memory, but you can’t live for them, because that means living in the past. Does this have to do with Ruby wanting to help the other Reds? She knew your brother too, right?”
He nods. “If Cole couldn’t help them, then isn’t it my responsibility to finish the job for him, make sure those kids are safe and treated right? But then I start to think…isn’t it time to let someone else take care of things? Does it always have to be Ruby?” Liam messes up the hair he’s just smoothed down. “I know I don’t have the right to make the decision for her, but I can’t get the thoughts out of my head every time we take a risk. What happens if we go, and something happens to Ruby—God, what happens if I lose her, too? What happens if the government tries to punish her, and I’m not fast enough or strong enough to help her?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “But what’s the alternative? You two run off and go into hiding for the rest of your lives? You have a little herd of kids and build tree houses for them?”
He lets out a choked laugh. “Sounds nice.”
“Sounds kind of boring,” I say. “But I guess what I mean is, being afraid can’t be a reason for us not to do something now. It’s going to be dangerous anywhere we go, and all those people in Washington are trying to establish rules and laws, and we have to make sure that we’re part of shaping that, too.”
“Our voice will only get louder the more of us we bring together,” Liam agrees.
“So I guess our role now is to do the best we can to make sure we don’t lose anyone else,” I finish. “No matter what.”
“We’ll take care of our own.” Liam reaches over and puts a hand on top of my head affectionately, the way Lucas used to. “You know, I did come out here to comfort you.”
“You did,” I say, looking over at the entrance to the tree house. Talking to him has helped me clarify what I want. It’s made me realize that, no matter what happens to Lucas, I can’t be afraid, either.
“Do you really think Ruby can help Lucas?”
His smile is so warm, so genuine, I find myself returning it. “Of course. My girl? She’s incredible.”
“Mia?” someone calls.
Liam and I both lean over the entrance. Sam is standing below, one hand braced on the old tree’s trunk. She looks as amazed as I felt to find it still standing.
“What’s wrong?” I ask. “Is Lucas…?”
Sam shakes off whatever feeling had gripped her. “Are the notebooks up there?”
“Yeah,” I call back. “I’ll bring them down.”
“Okay, good,” Sam says softly. “Good. Ruby’s ready when we are.”
“I’m ready now,” I tell her, and start the climb down.
It’s fully morning now, eight o’clock; the sun has crept up on us, combing its fingers through the last fading traces of night. I can still smell the smoke as I step through the door. The burnt photo is gone, and all that’s left is a large smudge of black and a gaping hole in the plaster, where the house’s old bones show through. My eyes find Lucas immediately, stretched out across the couch. Ruby is sitting in a chair beside him, one hand over where his hands are resting on his stomach, her eyes closed. Behind me Liam tenses, takes a step toward her, but stops himself and turns to where Vida and Charlie are pulling food out of a bag I saw earlier in the trunk of their big SUV. He never takes his eyes off her, but he lets her work.
It takes Sam and I a few minutes to find the right story in the right notebook—at least, I hope it’s the right story. My blood feels like it’s throbbing inside my veins as Sam passes it over to me and says, “Why don’t you read it?”
I’m clutching the notebook so tightly, I’m afraid it’s going to rip in half. The years have made it delicate, just as they’ve made me stronger.
I glance back. Liam is leaning back against the kitchen island, his arms crossed over his chest. He gives me another one of his smiles, and nods. “Give it a whirl, buddy. What do you have to lose?”