Thorn Queen Page 0,73

of his arm and walked over to the full-length mirror that stood on one side of the room, edged in gold. I'd pinned up my hair earlier and let it down now, wondering if I wanted to bother with sending Nia for a nightgown or if I'd just sleep in my clothes. Standing there, I stared at my body, thinking again of my mother's claims that I was too skinny. I always argued it was an athletic build. Running my hands over the sides of my stomach and down to my hips, I studied my figure. Whatever you wanted to call it, it was slim.

"I can never do that for him," I said in a small voice. "I can never give him a baby like she can."

Dorian strolled over and stood behind me, meeting my eyes in the mirror. "Do you want to?"

"I don't know. Kids were never on my radar...it was always a 'maybe someday' kind of thing. But now...knowing I can't..." My hips and stomach suddenly seemed as unhealthily skinny as my mother had always said. They would remain untouched and infertile, never filling out with the kind of life Maiwenn's had. I would never share that with Kiyo.

I flinched as Dorian reached from behind and placed his hands on the narrowest part of my waist. He rested his head on my shoulder, and I was too weary to shoo him away.

"You speak like someone who's been condemned with infertility or like you've passed your prime."

"I might as well be."

"That's not true. You're young. You radiate health and fertility. You could have a dozen children."

I shook my head slowly. "I can't," I said sadly. "I won't. You know I won't, no matter how much you and every other Otherworldly creature want me to."

"Maybe you'd have a daughter."

"I can't take the risk." I knew I'd never be confiding in him sober. "And what if Kiyo decides he doesn't want that-to be with someone who's always going to be childless? What if he wants more kids? Maybe this baby...Maybe he'll go back to Maiwenn. Maybe...maybe he'll leave me...." I could feel tears forming in my eyes and hated myself for the weakness.

Dorian tightened his grip on my waist. "He'd be a fool. And you'd be a fool to mourn him if he did. You're more than a childbearing vessel."

"Not the way everyone talks. Not the way you talk."

To my shock, Dorian spun me around. Still gripping me, he pressed his forehead to mine so that only an inch was between us. I could smell the tequila on his breath, no doubt mirroring my own.

"Eugenie, you're a woman without equal, and no matter how much you annoy the hell out of me and no matter how much I try to get you out of my head-and believe me, both occur regularly-I can't stay away from you. Even if you were barren, I'd take you as my consort in an instant and spend the rest of my life with you-childless, so long as it meant you'd be by my side. I would gladly bring you to my bed with no other thoughts than taking joy from your body. It would be enough."

I swallowed. "But you're with...I mean, what about...what about Ysabel? She can have kids...."

"Ysabel," he said dismissively, "is nothing. A pale imitation of you-and not even a good one at that."

That was harsh of him, but it filled me with something warm and loved and special. I realized then that no matter the bantering, sexual tension, and many schemes, Dorian really was my friend. I also realized that I wanted so badly then for him to kiss me, to crush his body against mine and run his hands along my bare skin. I wanted to have sex with him against the wall, on the bed, on the floor...it honestly didn't matter, so long as our bodies were joined, and I could feel him in me....

Whoa. I jerked away, my heart racing, barely stopping myself from doing something I'd regret. Deciding he was my friend was one thing; jumping into bed was another. I knew it was the tequila and my worry over Kiyo causing this. I didn't want to be with Dorian again; I couldn't be. Even if he claimed it would be for love and pleasure, I knew it could never be that simple. There would always be politics and schemes....

And so, I did the most unsexy thing I could. I summoned Volusian.

The icy, dark presence of my minion caught