Thorn Queen Page 0,132

speak to the ones there. They don't even know you as their queen yet, let alone the person sending them to fight. And you should practice up on your magic, both for battle and to show your own people that that Rowan bitch can't touch you."

I shivered at the feelings his words inspired in me. In Tucson, I'd been trying to hide from my magic, but now it was calling to me again. And with this threat from Katrice-no, this insult from Katrice-there was nothing I wanted more than to summon all the forces of nature and rip her apart.

"Dorian is coming here-today, I think," said Shaya, interrupting my murderous thoughts. "Follow his lead. He knows what to do."

I wasn't entirely sure what that meant. The only thing I felt certain of was that I wasn't quite ready to go over the maps Rurik had laid out and examine all the troop placements he had in mind. I'd always sucked at Risk and had a feeling this would be similar. Besides, I hadn't returned to the Thorn Land to make war-not right at this second, at least. I'd come because of the dream from last night, the dream where I'd felt at peace.

Because at the moment, I felt no peace. A gentry queen wanted to lead armies in and kill my people-and I was supposed to do the same to her. I'd just broken up with my boyfriend, someone I loved dearly, because I-possibly irrationally-held him responsible for not protecting me from an assailant. And as for that assailant...well, his face still flashed in my mind, and no matter how much time passed, I couldn't seem to rid myself of that dirty feeling within me or my repulsion at being touched.

I swore to Rurik that I'd talk to him later, that I needed some time to myself first, and left them both for one of the castle's enclosed gardens. It was the one I frequently meditated in, where Shaya was still attempting to grow grass and where Kiyo and I had made love. I sat down there cross-legged, taking in the sun on the orange rocks around me and relishing in the faint breeze that stirred the branches of the mesquite and smokethorn trees. A tiny lizard scurried off behind a rock, and I heard what sounded like a hummingbird-or a big-ass bee-in a cluster of nearby flowers.

I cleared my mind and tried to communicate with and heal the land like I had before, but for whatever reason, the connection didn't come. Panic seized me. Had the events with Leith broken something within me? Had I lost my ability to revive the kingdom? I sat there sweating, wondering what would happen to the land if I couldn't connect to it. The heat eventually made me sleepy, and I lay down on the grass, my hands digging into the earth.

When I woke up, two things immediate became apparent. First, I felt...better. I felt strong and refreshed, and all around me, the colors and scents seemed stronger and more vivid. I still wasn't happy about the impending war, but that horrible feeling in me...the bitterness Leith had left...well, it had lessened. The air hummed around me, and for a disorienting second, I couldn't tell where I ended and the land began. It was then that I realized why my meditation hadn't worked. I had been in no condition to heal the land. It had had to heal me. I was energized now, ready to do anything. Ready to lead a war.

The other thing I noticed after waking was that Jasmine was sitting right beside me, gray eyes staring into mine. I bolted upright. "What the hell are you doing here?" I exclaimed. "You're not supposed to be loose."

Girard's cuffs were still upon her, and she jerked her head back toward the castle. "I'm not exactly loose."

I followed her motion and saw a dozen guards, all keeping a respectful distance, but all watching Jasmine closely. When Volusian had disappeared, Rurik had undoubtedly increased her security detail.

"Jasmine," I said, "I'm not really in the mood for your banter, okay? Save your whining and insults for a day when I don't have to worry about having caused a war."

Her face was perfectly calm. "I heard what happened to you."

I braced for smugness. "Yeah, I'm sure everyone has."

"I'll fight for you, you know."

"Look, I'm sure-wait. What did you say?" I stared at her, waiting to see that composure crack. It didn't. She was still serious and