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to our world carrying my child, everything will be solved. Art told me...he told me how you stop yourself from conceiving. How you take some potion every day." His hand moved up to my hip while his other touched my face and stroked my hair. I tried to back away, but his grip was too strong in my addled state. "He said if you're away from it long enough that you'll be able to have a baby...."

I swallowed. My heart was threatening to pound out of my chest. "No...it won't work. You can't get me pregnant-because I already am."

His caresses froze. "What?"

"You were right before about me being involved with Dorian. Kiyo was a cover. He's not worthy-he's no one I'd want to father my child. Dorian and I have been lovers for a long time now in secret. We were afraid of what his enemies would do if they found out. I've been pregnant for..." What wouldn't show? "...two months. It's too late for you, Leith."

He had gone perfectly still, save for his eyes, which were searching my face thoroughly. "I don't believe you. You're lying. Everyone knows how you bicker with the Oak King. You aren't lovers."

"We are. He'll kill you when he finds out."

Leith shook his head and slid his hand from my hip to my stomach. "There's nothing here. Not yet."

Panic flooded me, and for a moment I couldn't breathe. Every other time I'd come close to being raped flashed through my mind-and there had been far more of those times than I would have liked. And every time, I had escaped the situation. Yet that never made the next time any less terrifying. This was no exception.

"Leith, please don't do this."

His hand moved fumblingly to my breast, and then he pushed me back against the bed. "It's okay," he said, speaking as one would to a child. "It'll be okay. You'll like it. I promise."

"Don't do this!"

His mouth was on my neck, and lovesick boy or no, there was definitely a man's sexual need there. I struggled against him, trying desperately to free myself, but I might as well have truly been a child. With that fucking drug in me, both my body and brain were a mess. My body had none of its ability to fight him or stop him from pushing up my skirt. My brain had no clever ways to talk him out of this. And as he took off his own clothes and laid his body on top of mine, pressing me down, I realized he needed no handcuffs to keep me subdued. The strength of his hands pinning my wrists was more than enough.

Chapter Twenty-Three

There is no real way to describe rape.

Sex with Kiyo or Dorian, the men I loved...well, I could have described that for hours in exquisite detail. I could have elaborated on the way they stroked my hair or the way their lips touched my skin. Even with Dean-my cheating bastard ex-sex had still had its share of affection and joy, back when things had been good between us.

There was none of that with Leith.

Well, not on my part, at least. And I think that's what made it especially bad. For him, with his crazy infatuation, it really was an act of love. He visited me often over the next few days, and each time he took me against my will, he'd tell me he loved me and attempt some sort of gentleness and affection. The horrible part was, I couldn't even resist that. It barely required any force on his part to make me submit. Honestly, I wished it had been violent. I wished he'd been cruel and brutal. I'd spent my life in fights, dealing with pain and blows. There would have been something comfortingly familiar about that, like it was just another battle for me. The twisted love he showed for me during each act of rape, however...well, that made it harder to bear.

In that time, I only saw Art once. Abigail checked on me a number of times, and I learned that it was she who mixed the nightshade, though Leith had taught her the recipe. Cariena was the one I saw the most. She seemed to have been installed as the live-in maid and occasional sex toy for visiting guys. When I arrived, there had been three other gentry girls, but Isanna-the one I'd heard mentioned that first day-left shortly. She was very pretty, and Abigail seemed particularly happy at the