whispers at the edge of my consciousness, disturbing the fragments of a dream.
I lay awake in the darkness for awhile, trying to fall asleep again, but it was no use. Finally I got up for a drink of water, walking barefoot on the cold cement to the shared bathroom and splashing some water on my face. I definitely needed a shower. But before I could take off my clothes, I heard the whispers again. I thought I’d just imagined them before, but now I was wide awake. Maybe I was losing my mind.
I followed the noises down the hall; it almost sounded like there were scratches coming from inside the walls, and I pictured hives of rats squirming behind the concrete. It made my skin crawl.
I didn’t recognize where I was until I was standing in the garage, right in front of Penelope’s cell. The single guard outside was sleeping. It was easy to walk past him. I opened the door to the truck as gently as I could. When I stepped inside, the sweet scent of elixir mixed with the smell of rotting flesh and death.
Penelope’s flesh was so pale it looked blue in the dim light, but her eyes shone with fever, lit with internal furnaces as her body struggled to keep her alive. Her new elite form needed fuel, and she was starving to death.
She lunged at me suddenly, rattling her heavy chains, but only made it halfway before being snapped back by the metal collar around her neck. If she recognized me at all, I couldn’t tell. She snarled at me, as if I were the predator, then retreated to a dark corner sullenly.
She clawed at her skin absently with soft whine, and I noticed the thin lines cut into her wrists, smeared with dark red blood. At first I thought she’d done it to herself, but the cuts were too neat and precise.
Someone else had done this to her, and recently. Someone was bleeding her, feeding on her for the elixir in her veins. She pinched at the open wound and a drop of blood rolled across her arm, pooling behind her elbow. My stomach rumbled and I took a step closer, licking my lips before I realized I wasn’t hungry. It was thirst for the elixir in her veins. I felt dizzy with need and had to physically drag myself away. Once outside, I closed the door and leaned against it heavily, taking a ragged breath to clear my spiraling anxiety. Finally I returned to my tent alone, filled with guilt and shame.
I had a pounding headache when I woke up the next morning and felt sick to my stomach.
It was like a hangover, mixed with the flu. Clammy skin, nausea, and hives that broke out on my legs and arms.
“How do you feel?” Marcus said at breakfast, piling his plate with canned beans and fried eggs.
“Gross,” I said.
“It’s normal, after consuming so much elixir,” Frank said, coming up behind us. “It’s a powerful drug, and addiction is common. We see the symptoms even when we get a new recruit from the colonies; just one drop a week and they’ll still feel slight symptoms for the first month. When you consume more, the symptoms can be unpleasant.”
“I didn’t even have that much,” I frowned.
“It effects us all differently. We’re careful not to give soldiers too much. A fourth of a vial is the usual limit. More than that and you may lose control of yourself. Drink a whole vial and you’ll have superhuman strength, but you’ll probably die and never come back. Mostly we use it for healing, not fighting.”
“Unlike the reckless princess amongst us,” Marcus teased.
“Did Trevor tell you about yesterday?”
“Luke can’t shut up about it,” Frank said. “He’s told half the community already, how you sliced through that slagpaw like a cranberry pastry.”
“I had help,” I said. “Everyone was very brave.”
And lucky. One elite and three slagpaw. I had a feeling if it were just the slagpaw, it wouldn’t have gone down so well. Being tied to Tobias made them a bit slower. When he hesitated, so did they.
“One slagpaw is a miracle, but it could just be a fluke. By my count, you’ve killed three. How much elixir did you take, anyway?”
“Half a vial,” I shrugged, sipping my dark root tea. I frowned at the cup, annoyed it wasn’t coffee, but apparently that was a luxury good in Havoc and only for special occasions.