get a bucket of water and clean this place up, anyway."
"Right away, sir."
"That is, if Dr. Ferrami is finished with you."
Jeannie tried to say, "While you were killing the rat, Dennis stole my panties," but the words would not come out. They seemed so foolish. And she could imagine the consequences of saying them. She would be stuck here for an hour while the allegation was investigated. Dennis would be searched and her underwear found. It would have to be shown to Warden Temoigne. She imagined him examining the evidence, handling her panties and turning them inside out, with a strange look on his face....
No. She would say nothing.
She suffered a pang of guilt. She had always scorned women who suffered assault and then kept quiet about it, letting the offender get away with it. Now she was doing the same thing.
She realized that Dennis was counting on that. He had foreseen how she would feel and gambled that he could get away with it. The thought made her so indignant that for a moment she contemplated putting up with the hassle just to thwart him. Then she envisioned Temoigne and Robinson and all the other men in this jail looking at her and thinking, She doesn't have any panties on, and she realized it would be too humiliating to be borne.
How clever Dennis was: as clever as the man who had set fire to the gymnasium and raped Lisa, as clever as Steve....
"You seem a little shook," Robinson said to her. "I guess you don't like rats any more than I do."
She pulled herself together. It was over. She had survived with her life and even her eyesight. What happened that was so bad? she asked herself. I might have been mutilated or raped. Instead I just lost my underwear. Be grateful. "I'm fine, thank you," she said.
"In that case, I'll take you out."
The three of them left the room together.
Outside the door Robinson said: "Go get a mop, Pinker."
Dennis smiled at Jeannie, a long, intimate smile, as if they were lovers who had spent the afternoon in bed together. Then he disappeared into the interior of the jail. Jeannie watched him go with immense relief, but it was tinged with continuing revulsion, for he had her underwear in his pocket. Would he sleep with her panties pressed to his cheek, like a child with a teddy bear? Or would he wrap them around his penis as he masturbated, pretending that he was fucking her? Whatever he chose to do she felt she was an unwilling participant, her privacy violated and her freedom compromised.
Robinson walked her to the main gate and shook her hand. She crossed the hot parking lot to the Ford, thinking, I'll be glad to drive out of this place. She had a sample of Dennis's DNA, that was the most important thing.
Lisa was at the wheel, running the air-conditioning to cool the car. Jeannie slumped into the passenger seat.
"You look beat," Lisa said as she pulled away.
"Stop at the first shopping strip," Jeannie said.
"Sure. What do you need?"
"I'll tell you," Jeannie replied. "But you're not going to believe it."
Chapter 19
AFTER LUNCH BERRINGTON WENT TO A QUIET NEIGHBORHOOD bar and ordered a martini.
Jim Proust's casual suggestion of murder had shaken him. Berrington knew he had made a fool of himself by grabbing Jim's lapel and yelling. But he did not regret the fuss. At least he could be sure Jim knew exactly how he felt.
It was nothing new for them to fight. He remembered their first great crisis, in the early seventies, when the Watergate scandal broke. It had been a terrible time: conservatism was discredited, the law-and-order politicians turned out to be crooked, and any clandestine activity, no matter how well intentioned, was suddenly viewed as an unconstitutional conspiracy. Preston Barck had been terrified and wanted to give up the whole mission. Jim Proust had called him a coward, argued angrily that there was no danger, and proposed to carry it on as a joint CIA-army project, perhaps with tighter security. No doubt he would have been ready to assassinate any investigative journalist who pried into what they were doing. It had been Berrington who suggested setting up a private company and distancing themselves from the government. Now once again it was up to him to find a way out of their difficulties.
The place was gloomy and cool. A TV set over the bar showed a soap opera, but the sound was turned down.