Third Chances (Men Of Manhattan #2) - Ivy Smoak Page 0,44

I can't do something like that. It's too casual for me. I need more than that. I need something tangible. Something real. Something stable."

There was something desperate in her voice. I couldn't tell if she was fighting her own thoughts or if she truly needed stability in her life. I couldn't imagine that she needed that. She seemed so centered. So grounded. So sure in her ways. But here she was, telling me that wasn't true. She needed something to hold onto. Right now she was holding onto me. And I liked that feeling. I liked the feeling of her hands on me. "I live in Newark."

"Still?" She immediately coughed. "I mean, do you really? It's a shame we never ran into each other. I went to school at the University of New Castle with Alina and Kristen."

"I know." I hadn't meant for that to slip out. She was going to think I was stalking her. I wasn't. I just noticed her. She was hard not to notice. And she had said "still." She had known I lived on campus. Had she noticed me too?

"How did you know that?" she asked.

"I saw you around campus."

"Why didn't you introduce yourself?"

"You were always studying. I would have just gotten in your way." Again, too honest. But she said she wanted something real. I found it easy to tell the truth around her. To tell her whatever she wanted to know.

"Did you go to school there too?"

"No, I moved in with James and then ended up staying when he went to New York with Penny."

"Where did you go to school then?"

"Harvard. Like everyone else in my family." I couldn't hide the resentment in my voice. I had wanted to take a few years off to travel, but my father forced me to go. So much good that had done him. I hadn't had a real job since graduation. I had been traveling ever since. Maybe I'd never stop. Unlike Daphne, stability didn't appeal to me that much.

I was surprised when I felt her hand brush the side of my face. It dipped behind my back and rested against the base of my neck. She felt comfortable around me. Why else would she be holding onto me?

"I would have loved to go to Harvard. I got in. But I almost got a full ride to the University of New Castle. I couldn't turn down that scholarship. Not when I knew I wanted to be a teacher. I would have had to pay off those loans for the rest of my life. I regret that sometimes. Being so worried about the future."

For some reason I felt the need to comfort her. To tell her she hadn't made a mistake. Because maybe we would have never met if it wasn't for that decision. But that's not what came out of my mouth. Instead, I said, "The University of New Castle's campus is actually prettier. And the people are nicer."

"They weren't nice to your brother."

"No. I guess they weren't." I felt guilty sometimes for staying. Like I was being a traitor, staying in the place that had shit all over him and Penny. But I couldn't seem to move. I couldn't go back to New York. There wasn't anything there for me. There wasn't anything for me in Newark either though. "You moved away from Newark, right?" I knew that she probably graduated last year, because I hadn't seen her since last spring. I was an observant guy.

"Yeah. I guess you could say that I needed a change. New York City seemed like a glamorous choice. I'm teaching at a school in Manhattan."

"My family is from New York. But I chose to keep my distance."

"Why?"

Why? Because I hate my parents? Because I'm jealous of James? Because I worry about him? Distance doesn't change those things. Maybe it makes it harder. "I need to figure some stuff out on my own."

"I'm still figuring stuff out too." She laughed in the darkness. But it wasn't like her laughs from earlier. There was something sad in it. I wanted to know what it was.

I thought I'd surprise her here. I thought she'd find the gesture grand and romantic. And I'd get to finally have her. Instead, I had got beaten up. She knew how to take a fucking swing. The girl had an impressive right hook. And she hadn't just physically assaulted me. She was making me think about things I didn't want to think about. Things I avoided thinking