Things We Never Said (Hart's Boardwalk #3) - Samantha Young Page 0,38

someone. You need to talk to someone about this because this is …” His voice trailed off. My thirty-three-year-old brother looked like a lost little boy, and I wanted to comfort him.

“That’s what Cian said.” Mom stepped back, wiping at her tears.

“Then maybe you should listen to us.”

Mom looked just as lost. “You don’t understand.”

He shook his head again. “It’s not rational, Mom. It’s fucked.”

She choked on a sob and then rushed past him, dodging his hands as he tried to stop her. The front door slammed shut behind her.

Seeing her now, and not through the grief-shrouded fog of the messed-up young woman I’d been, I realized with a sick feeling in my gut that Sorcha McGuire was not mentally well. She’d twisted everything up inside her and saw what she wanted to see. As I’d gotten older, hitting my teens, I realized that was a part of my mom’s personality. But it had been in smaller, less significant ways back then. If she didn’t like an idea, like when I’d first said I wanted to go to art school, she pretended like it wasn’t true. She would talk to me about law school and business school like I hadn’t repeatedly told her they were a no-go.

However, what she’d convinced herself—that I’d ruined her life—had done nothing but destroy her life, like a self-fulfilling prophecy. No wonder Dad had gone to see her to tell her she needed therapy.

My mom needed therapy.

Knowing that didn’t remove the ball of ugly that sat in my gut. My own mom hated me.

There weren’t any magic words in the world that could take away that kind of pain.

“Dahlia,” Dermot said my name quietly, drawing my attention from the door to his. His expression turned pleading. “I didn’t know.”

I nodded.

“She’s…” His gaze darted to the door. “I’ve never seen her like that … She’s … she’s not … that’s fucked up.”

My brother looked crushed. Alone, sad, and totally crushed.

Without thinking about it, I crossed the room and drew him into my arms.

Dermot didn’t hesitate. He buried his head in my neck and held on for dear life.

Before he had to leave for work, Dermot asked me to tell him everything from my side of the story. When I was done, he’d looked at me in weary defeat. “I still think you should have come home. But I get it now why you didn’t.”

I’d hesitated over my own question. “She never … In all these years, she never talked about how she blamed me for Dillon’s death? How she felt about it?”

Dermot had shaken his head. “She never talked about you at all. When we tried, she would walk out of the room. I thought it was because you left and would only tell Dad where you were. I didn’t realize it was because she’d poisoned her own fuckin’ mind against you.”

“Maybe if I had come home sooner, it wouldn’t have gotten this bad. She would have had to deal with her grief rather than letting it fester like this.”

“Maybe.” He’d agreed impatiently as he stood up to leave. “You don’t actually blame yourself for Dillon’s death, do you?”

“I changed the course of her future, Dermot. There’s no getting around that fact.”

“Jesus fuck,” he’d sneered. “One’s crazy, and the other’s a martyr. I can’t … I can’t deal with this shit right now. I’ve got work.”

He’d taken off without saying goodbye, and it left me unsure of where I stood with him.

For a while, I’d sat in silence going over the last hour in my head. Every part of me seemed to ache. “Well, this trip home has been super fun,” I muttered.

The urge to pack my bags and leave was strong. Back home in Hartwell, I didn’t have to deal with all this stuff. My life was simple and peaceful.

However, I couldn’t leave Dad. Especially not now, knowing how bad Mom had gotten. Hands shaking, I crossed the room to where I’d left my phone on the side table and swiped left, bringing up my main contacts. My finger hovered over the B button. I didn’t want to keep calling Bailey when I was feeling lousy because then she’d worry. However, she was my person now.

Before Hartwell, it had been Michael. I sighed, slumping down on the couch, remembering the first time I ever went to him because of my mom. It was before he dated Dillon. It was before I suspected Gary of cheating …

Stepping out of my bedroom, I caught sight of Dermot