in, and Lia spent the rest of the afternoon bundled up in the little room off the kitchen they called ‘the library,’ which was lined all around with floor-to-ceiling bookcases filled floor-to-ceiling with books—Mamma owned a bookshop, after all—but was too small to really deserve the title of ‘library.’
She turned on the gas fireplace and curled under a fluffy throw in a thickly upholstered chair beside the window. Snuggles tucked himself happily in his dog bed on the hearth beside her, and she dived into a novel while the wind whipped rain at the windows and the cover over the closed pool shuddered outside. She was cozy, and for a while, it was almost nice to be home.
Then Carina and Ren got home from school. They slammed through the side door, both soaking wet though their trip through the rain had only been the few feet from where Carina had parked her Wrangler.
From her seat in the library, Lia watched them drop their bags and jackets on the mudroom floor and kick their shoes off. They both wore the uniform of Christ the King School, though neither of them looked ready for picture day.
“Ugh!” Carina griped. “I bet my makeup’s a mess. Yours is for sure, Sephora Boy.”
“Fuck off,” Ren mumbled, brushing his wet dark hair from his face—and yes, swiping under his eyes and checking his fingers to see if she was right.
Ren had been kind of different since grade school. Just sort of gloomy. Like Carina, probably because of Carina, he could be a little mean, too. Carina wasn’t a bully, exactly. She didn’t pick on kids younger or smaller or weaker than she was, but she was bossy and loud, a daredevil and a scrapper, and she just had some sort of biological imperative to cause trouble. If you got in her way, she was going to shove you out of it.
Just barely more than a year younger than Carina, Ren had begun life running after her, doing anything she told him to. He’d been like her little minion, and together they’d been really annoying.
As they’d gotten older, they’d hit a fork in their road, changing in ways that stretched their nearly twin-like bond. Something similar had happened with Elisa and Lia, too. It was different, because she and Elisa had been at each other’s throats from Lia’s first day, so they’d never been a tag team of mischief. But whatever it was that made them fight so much stopped happening, because they’d stopped caring so much what the other one was doing.
For Ren and Carina, it had happened when Ren stopped wanting to be part of her trouble. Now, he mostly wanted to stay by himself. He had friends, but they were the kind of friends who most enjoyed being online at the same time. They only got together in person at school or when one of them had a birthday or something.
At about the same time, Ren had gone baby goth. He wore black everything, and listened to gloomy music and slumped around his life like the air itself was too heavy to hold up.
A year or so ago, about the time Elisa and Lia were going off to college, he’d started wearing nail polish and makeup. And kind of a lot of silver and black jewelry.
Papa was visibly appalled, though he hadn’t said anything to Ren, as far as Lia knew. He just stared after his son like a mythical beast had crossed his path.
One weekend, Lia had overheard a cringey conversation between Mamma and Ren in which Mamma had, trying in her usually okay but sometimes super awkward way to make sure Ren knew she loved him no matter what, asked him if he was gay.
Ren insisted he was not. Mamma, apparently not quite believing that, pushed a little, assuring him it was okay, he was loved as he was. Ren assured her he was not gay. She needled a little more, and Ren had yelled.
Ren never yelled. He only mumbled. Like, ever.
Mamma backed off.
As far as Lia knew, no one had raised the question of Ren’s sexual orientation again. He was only fifteen, anyway. But it was pretty clear their parents—who were surprisingly buttoned-up, considering what Papa did for a living—had no idea what to do with Ren.
Or any of their children, really. They tried, but they were outnumbered and outmatched.
“Hey guys,” Lia said, setting her book down and rising from her cozy perch. Snuggles had abandoned her when they’d come in.