They were at the edge of Quiet Cove Park. Even in her emotional froth, she was captivated by the beauty of the quaint little park—straight out of a classic Broadway musical—blanketed with sparkling, fresh snow. The epitome of peaceful quiet.
Pulling on the hand he held, Alex drew Lia into the park, all the way to the gazebo, where the bench around the edge wasn’t wholly covered in cold white.
He sat her down on a clear part of the bench and stood before her. Shoving his hands in his coat pockets, he glared down at her.
“I didn’t mean to make you mad,” she finally said.
“Why wouldn’t I be mad?”
“Why would you be?” The only reason she could think was he had no answer to the question.
“Don’t you believe I love you?”
“Don’t you know why you do?”
He stared hard at her, then shook his head and turned away. He crossed the gazebo and stared out at the park. What had that headshake meant?
Only one thing she could imagine. “You don’t know,” Lia muttered, sure now she’d be sick any second.
“Of course I know, Lee. I’ve never been in love before. I know why what I feel for you is different.” He faced her again. “But it pisses me the fuck off that you don’t believe me. If you don’t believe me, you must think I’m lying.”
“I don’t think you’re lying.”
“Then why would you ask me why I love you?”
“Because I don’t know why you would! You’ve been taking care of me as long as we’ve been together. Since before that. I need, and you give. What do I give you?”
“Maybe I like to be needed. Maybe I need it.”
If he’d meant to reassure her, he’d failed. “Then what happens if I don’t need you so much anymore? How will you love me then?” Her voice broke, but she swallowed hard and kept tears at bay.
Finally, his expression softened. He came back to her and sat at her side. “I know you’re not always going to be where you are now, with everything so sad. But it feels good to be there for you. Even if you don’t need to lean on me, it feels good to be there in case you do. It feels good to know you’re there for me, too. Isn’t that what it’s supposed to be? Aren’t you supposed to know the person who loves you, and who you love, is there when you need them?”
“How are you so sure I’ll be there for you?”
“Won’t you be?”
“Of course, but why do you believe me? How have I showed you?”
“Because I know you, Lee. I think I was a little in love with you even before we got together. Just being around you, watching the way you are. I’m in love with the girl who jumped up, scared and sad as she was, and spoke for her sister when nobody else could. I’m in love with the girl who went down to the morgue to bring her father up where he belonged. You try so hard to do your best, all the time. Your best is fucking awesome, babe. You always try so hard to be kind, and not be in the way. When you feel bad, or mad, or sad, you bury it so it chews on you instead of other people. I don’t know if that’s all that healthy for you, but I do know it makes you a person who always thinks about other people first. I know without a doubt when I need you, you’ll be there. But you need somebody who’s always thinking of you first, and that’s gonna be me.”
His anger gone, he set his gloved hand on her cheek. His thumb brushed under her eye; at the chill damp of his touch, Lia realized she was crying. He leaned close, spoke quietly. “I love you because you’re sweet, and smart, and kind. I love how hard you try. I love how even though you’ve had everything money can buy, you still put yourself second. I love the way you push back self-doubt to do things that scare you. I love how strong you’ve been through all this pain. You ask what you give me—you make me want to be better. I was angry about a lot of shit, and I didn’t even know it. I gave up on myself, and I didn’t see it. I’m twenty-three years old, and I’d given up already. You make me remember who I wanted to be. You