Theirs to Keep - Maya Banks Page 0,47
she couldn’t remember it.
“It’s okay, honey. You’re with us. It’s okay to remember. He can’t hurt you now. Talk it out if you want. We’re here. We’ll listen.”
“I don’t want to remember,” she said, her voice muffled by Cade’s shirt.
Merrick sighed, his heart softening at the vulnerability in her voice. He ran his finger up her bare arm and rubbed his knuckle back down in a soothing manner.
“I don’t claim to understand what you’ve been through, baby. I won’t insult you by saying I do. But I do understand why you don’t want to remember. I get that. But I also know that this is like a festering wound, and it’s not going to go away. At some point, we have to face it. Together. And you need to know that Cade and I are going to be here to help you in any way we can.”
She picked up her head and met his gaze, her eyes burning with emotion.
“I think…” She licked her lips nervously and glanced back at Cade before returning once more to Merrick. She seemed to be waging a horrific war with herself, not just over the dreams and memories that tormented her, but over the here and now and about what she was about to say. “That is, I’m pretty sure I love you both. And I’ve battled with myself until I’m exhausted over it. I keep thinking that I can’t love you. That I can’t love two people. That the very last thing I can offer someone in my current emotional state is love. I keep questioning whether my feelings are real or whether they’re the result of you saving me and taking me in. But they feel real. I want them to be real.”
Merrick was momentarily struck speechless. Cade was no less affected by the sudden declaration.
She looked distressed as she continued on. Not at all like a woman should look when she’d just confessed her love for a man. She was clearly nervous and unsettled and seemingly anxious to get her point across before they could respond.
The words tumbled out of her mouth, so fast he could barely keep up.
“And I know you’re wondering what that has to do with what happened tonight or, well, anything, but it has everything to do with it, because I don’t want to remember my past because I’m terrified that it could come between me and the two of you. It’s a fear I live with every single day.”
When she would have continued on, Cade took her hand, engulfing it in his much larger grasp. “Elle, I don’t give a shit about your past other than the fact that it’s a source of pain and emotional stress for you.”
Merrick was still reeling from the powerful words she’d uttered. He couldn’t seem to get his mouth to work, and he couldn’t afford to screw this up. He had to get this right.
“Elle.”
Her name came out barely a whisper, and he had to clear his throat so he didn’t croak the rest of the words.
The weight of emotion in her gaze took his breath away. She looked…scared. As if she’d taken the biggest risk of her life by blurting out those words.
Viewed from her eyes, it had to be terrifying to lay so much on the line when she had no past, nowhere to go, no one but him and Cade to rely on.
In the end, there was no deep, drawn-out explanation. There was nothing to say to her but the utter truth in all its simplicity.
“Ahh, baby, I love you too,” he said hoarsely.
He framed her face in his hands, rubbing the pads of his thumbs over her cheekbones. The relief was crushing in her eyes. Her entire body sagged, and then she turned her mouth into his hand to press a kiss to his palm.
“Do you mean it?” she whispered.
He could barely form the words. He was too shaken by the emotion welling in his chest. When had he ever felt so much for another person? It was a completely new experience for him. Nothing had prepared him for this. It undid him. He was tough. Strong. A mixed martial arts fighter. He could take apart a man in the ring without remorse. He could lock his emotions away until they were encased in stone. But this slip of a woman unraveled him as no other person had ever even come close to.
“I love you,” he said more firmly, knowing he owed her conviction. “I think