Theatre Page 0,74
but a kept boy and, God knows, you have good reason to know it."
"Don't be so silly. What a fuss to make over a few little presents I've given you."
"I oughtn't to have taken them. I knew all the time it was wrong. It all came so gradually that I didn't realize what was happening till I was in it up to my neck. I couldn't afford to lead the life you made me lead; I was absolutely up against it. I had to take money from you."
"Why not? After all, I'm a very rich woman."
"Damn your money."
He was holding a glass in his hands and yielding to a sudden impulse, he flung it into the fireplace. It shattered.
"You needn't break up the happy home," said Julia ironically.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that." He sank back into his chair and turned his head away. "I'm so ashamed of myself. It's not very nice to have lost one's self-respect."
Julia hesitated. She did not quite know what to say.
"It seemed only natural to help you when you were in a hole. It was a pleasure to me."
"I know, you were wonderfully tactful about it. You almost persuaded me that I was doing you a service when you paid my debts. You made it easy for me to behave like a cad."*
"I'm sorry you should feel like that about it."
She spoke rather tartly. She was beginning to feel a trifle irritated.
"There's nothing for you to be sorry about. You wanted me and you bought me. If I was such a skunk as to let myself be bought that was no business of yours."
"How long have you been feeling like this?"
"From the beginning."
"That isn't true."
She knew that what had awakened his conscience was the love that had seized him for a girl who he believed was pure. The poor fool! Didn't he know that Avice Crichton would go to bed with an assistant stage manager if she thought it would get her a part?
"If you're in love with Avice Crichton why don't you tell me so?" He looked at her miserably, but did not answer. "Are you afraid it'll crab her chances of getting a part in the new play? You ought to know me well enough by now to know that I would never let sentiment interfere with business."
He could hardly believe his ears.
"What do you mean by that?"
"I think she's rather a find. I'm going to tell Michael that I think she'll do very well."
"Oh, Julia, you are a brick. I never knew what a wonderful woman you were."
"You should have asked me and I'd have told you."
He gave a sigh of relief.
"My dear, I'm so terribly fond of you."
"I know, and I'm terribly fond of you. You're great fun to go about with and you're always so well turned out, you're a credit to any woman. I've liked going to bed with you and I've a sort of notion you've liked going to bed with me. But let's face it, I've never been in love with you any more than you've been in love with me. I knew it couldn't last. Sooner or later you were bound to fall in love and that would end it. And you have fallen in love, haven't you?"
"Yes."
She was determined to make him say it, but when he did the pang it gave her was dreadful. Notwithstanding, she smiled good-humouredly.
"We've had some very jolly times together, but don't you think the moment has come to call it a day?"
She spoke so naturally, almost jestingly, that no one could have guessed that the pain at her heart seemed past bearing. She waited for his answer with sickening dread.
"I'm awfully sorry, Julia; I must regain my self-respect." He looked at her with troubled eyes. "You aren't angry with me?"
"Because you've transferred your volatile affections from me to Avice Crichton?" Her eyes danced with mischievous laughter. "My dear, of course not. After all they stay in the profession."
"I'm very grateful to you for all you've done for me. I don't want you to think I'm not."
"Oh, my pet, don't talk such nonsense. I've done nothing for you." She got up. "Now you really must go. You've got a heavy day at the office tomorrow and I'm dog-tired."
It was a load off his mind. But he wasn't quite happy for all that, he was puzzled by her tone, which was so friendly and yet at the same time faintly ironical; he felt a trifle let down.