Thank You, Next - Sophie Ranald Page 0,53

– Adam! Adam, the awkward, monosyllabic cat lover who I’d tried to persuade to be the Ginger Cat’s official Dungeon Master, but who had never got in touch and not been in the pub since the first and last time I’d seen him there.

I’d assumed that he had decided against moving to the area, after all, and I was going to have to get my skates on and find another Dungeon Master somehow. But here he was, so clearly that wasn’t the case.

‘If it crystallises, just stand the jar in hot water for a couple of minutes,’ Archie said, handing over a paper bag.

‘Cheers,’ Adam said, fumbling his phone out of his pocket and tapping it on the card reader. ‘Got to try and help bees, right?’

Archie nodded. ‘Numbers are falling precipitously all over the world because of pesticide use and disease. Poor little guys – girls, rather. They need us.’

‘And so much of the honey you buy in supermarkets is basically industrially produced,’ I cut in. ‘It’s like battery farming only for bees.’

Adam turned around and looked at me, blankly at first and then with dawning recognition.

‘Hey, Zoë,’ Archie said. ‘We’ve got your cider. I’ll drop a crate round later.’

‘That would be great, thanks. You’ll get a chicken pie on the house as a thank you when Robbie’s nailed the recipe. Oh, hello. It’s Adam, isn’t it?’

‘Uh, hi, Zoë,’ Adam said, clutching his jar of honey so tightly I worried he might smash it.

The doorbell pinged with the arrival of another customer, and Adam turned to leave. But I wasn’t going to let him get away that easily – I followed on his heels, keeping a bright and breezy smile on my face.

‘So you’re a local now?’ I asked.

Reluctantly, Adam nodded. ‘I moved in yesterday. The flat was okay, once I got the landlord to agree to paint it.’

‘And you’ll be needing a local pub,’ I said cheerily.

He shook his head. ‘I don’t go out much, if I’m honest. I work long hours.’

‘A local pub with a cat,’ I continued.

Adam looked around like he was hoping a hole in the ground might open and swallow him, or the hand of God reach from above and scoop him up.

‘I’m so happy to have bumped into you,’ I carried on, ignoring his discomfort. ‘Because the first of the D&D games is in just over a week and we still haven’t found a Dungeon Master. I know you expressed an interest and since you’re living in the area now, you’ll be able to come on board. It’s absolutely ideal.’

Adam opened his mouth as if he was going to point out that he hadn’t done any such thing; in fact, it was me who’d begged him to say he’d consider giving it a try. So I didn’t give him the chance.

‘We’ve got six players involved,’ I forged relentlessly on. ‘Two of them work at the pub – me and Freddie, who’s one of the bar staff – and the others are just young regulars who live locally. Archie’s coming with his girlfriend. So it’s really very much a family affair. And none of us have played before so there’s no high expectations and no pressure. It’s just a bit of fun really. And as the DM, you’ll get a free meal, and I expect the players will shout your drinks.’

I had no idea how much Adam earned, but who doesn’t like free stuff? I don’t know if it was that or just my forceful positivity, but all at once the fight went out of him.

‘Okay, fine,’ he said, ‘I’ll do it. But I’m only committing to the first game, and if I’m rubbish I won’t do it again.’

‘You won’t be rubbish.’ I gave him what I hoped was an encouraging smile. ‘Honestly, this is just such good news. I can’t wait to tell Alice. She’s the landlady – you’ll meet her next time you come in, I’m sure. It’s so amazing, my horoscope said today that a dark stranger would bring good news, and look – you’re him!’

Adam looked at me like I’d just casually mentioned going along to a Scientology meeting or something.

‘You do know that stuff’s utter crap, don’t you?’ he said.

I bristled. ‘I know some people think that. But a lot of it is surprisingly accurate, actually. I use this app that—’

‘Tells you your star sign – whatever it is – is sometimes insecure, especially with people you don’t know well. And that you may appear confident on the surface,

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