Texting With the Enemy (Digital Dating #1) - Marika Ray Page 0,58
handsome man dressed as a pig for no apparent reason.
Chad dug more frantically, shooting a bashful apologetic smile out at the crowd and almost letting the mannequin go as he searched his other pocket. She tipped forward, nearly toppling off the stage and eliciting a strangled cry from Frank who was sitting nearby, one hand to his mouth. But Chad caught her in time, and handed her the piece of paper which he’d finally located. The mannequin’s stiff hand promptly dropped it, and it fluttered off the front of the stage.
“Here you are,” Chad said, using a weird announcer voice as he essentially shouted at his inanimate date. “So that you may visit me at your convenience should you care to see me again.”
In a terrifying falsetto voice that also came from Chad, the mannequin answered, “Why, thank you, sir.” And she went on, “and may I say, you are devastatingly handsome and quite a skilled dancer as well.”
Chad grinned and thanked her, and then he bowed. A second later he announced, “Act Two!”
Everyone scrambled around on the stage setting up chairs, while the audience laughed. I glanced around, and it was clear there wasn’t a soul in attendance who had the first clue what was going on. I just hoped it would be over soon so I could talk to Boston. And I thought I might need to talk to Pam about the kinds of entertainment we should book in the future. This was really . . . not good. And what was my mother doing up there, anyway?
“This is kind of bizarre,” I said, leaning into Ashley’s side.
She turned with a wide smile on her face and her eyes glowing. “I think it’s great,” she said, surprising me. “And I think it’s about to get really good.”
That was weird. I could usually count on Ashley to be sarcastic and scathingly critical when it was called for. I sighed and turned back to the stage where the actors seemed ready to go on.
Mom, Boston the pig, Lincoln, and Dalton were sitting around a table, pretending to eat and drink. The mannequin moved onto the set with Chad crouching behind her and pushing her haltingly along.
Boston the pig stood, nearly tripping backward over the chair he pushed behind him. I wondered how much he could see out of that costume.
“Hello, fair maiden. It is lovely to see you again,” Boston said.
“You are mistaken sir,” the creepy falsetto voice said. If I hadn’t been sure Chad and I were not a fit before, the voice pretty much sealed my conviction. “I am certain we have never met. I remember all the enormous pigs I encounter.”
“I assure you,” Boston countered. “We met at the festival and danced. You took my house number so you could visit the enchantingly handsome man who won your heart that day. I am he. Don’t you remember me?”
“No, you are not he. You are another,” the mannequin said, clearly indignant but potentially confused now too. “At least I think you are. But why would you lie to me? I suppose you must be he.”
A flicker of recognition sprang to life in me, and my stomach clenched. “Oh no,” I muttered. I had a bad feeling about things. This was sounding a lot like what happened with me and Chad at the wine festival. To everyone else, this was just a rag-tag theater production, but I could sense something bigger happening up on that stage.
The pig took the mannequin’s hand and her arm fell off. The audience gasped and Boston scrambled to pop it back on. From behind me, poor Frank bellowed something I couldn’t quite make out. Boston successfully got the arm back on and cleared his throat, clearly determined to continue this truly horrific play.
“Allow me to woo you, lovely maiden?”
Well, there was a blast from the past. I hadn’t heard the word “woo” in a while. But there was no time to consider it because the play marched on.
“I am willing to be wooed,” the mannequin said.
Mom, Dalton, and Lincoln all reached below their chairs and picked up signs that had been lying face down on the stage. Mom stood, holding hers up.
It read: Wooing Week One
I cringed.
“You are truly lovely,” the pig said, still holding the doll’s frigid stiff hand.
“That is kind. Too bad my dumb boss does not agree,” Chad said, clearly getting into the role now.