Tending Tara (Alaska Blizzard #7) - Kat Mizera Page 0,78

out the door to move to Buffalo surprised her. She’d had a few broken hearts in high school and one just before meeting Saku, but none of those were like this. It was like a piece of her left with Donovan and every breath she took was laced in heartache.

The pain was tangible; her chest actually hurt as she sobbed. And she truly had no one to turn to. Charli was at work, her brother was on a plane to Chicago, and the friends she’d made were all working or busy with other things. Not that they wouldn’t drop everything if she reached out, just like her mother would, but there was nothing any of them could do.

She cried herself to sleep and allowed herself one day to feel sorry for herself but by the following day was ready to go to work. Coach Azure had asked her to come in early to go over some things, so she took a long shower to help her relax and then laid on the bed with ice packs over her face to help with the swelling of her eyes from crying most of the night. When she was finally as calm as she could be given the circumstances, she got up and started doing her makeup.

She was going to have to move back to Gage’s house. Her job wouldn’t take a lot of time, so she could watch Matthew in exchange for living there because there was no way she could stay here at Donovan’s place. Every room, every piece of furniture, the bathtub—everything reminded her of him. Of them. Of what they’d shared. Being here without him would be impossible.

She’d have to give back the car, too. As much as she loved it, and even though she knew he’d never ask, it felt weird to drive it, knowing that he’d walked away from their marriage like it meant less than nothing to him.

Thinking about how he’d left made her hurt all over again, and tears filled her eyes. Nothing had ever hurt like this, but she had a job to do and things to keep her busy. Maybe after work tonight she’d go see Charli and vent. Then she was done. Donovan wasn’t crying over her, so why would she cry over him? She had a great job, friends, her brother and sister-in-law, and a really good life. She’d focus on her new career and not worry about her broken heart.

She made the quiet promise to herself even as her heart squeezed painfully.

It was probably a lot easier said than done.

33

Donovan had spent a lot of time in Buffalo because of Jane’s family, so he knew his way around. He rented a car at the airport and drove on autopilot to the temporary apartment the team had secured for him. It was already after eight o’clock here in New York, so it was too late to meet up with the team or anything. He’d be reporting for practice first thing in the morning, though, so he had no time to do anything but stop at the store for a few grocery essentials, unpack, and go to bed. He hadn’t slept at all last night and acting nonchalant as he’d left Tara this morning had been one of the hardest things he’d ever had to do.

He’d handled the whole thing terribly, but what choice did he have? She’d literally just gotten the job of her dreams, she had family in Anchorage, she’d made friends she cared about, and she’d told him repeatedly how much she loved her life there. How could he ask her to leave and start over? He’d done that with Jane and it had ended badly, so he couldn’t risk it happening again. He loved Tara enough to want her to be happy, so he wouldn’t force her to choose. No matter how much it hurt.

The irony of the whole thing didn’t escape him. Jane hadn’t wanted anything to do with Alaska, and Tara loved everything about it. Now he was in the city the woman he didn’t love had always wanted him to be in, while the woman he did love was still in Alaska. How the fuck had he gotten himself into this?

The rational, mature thing to do would be to talk to Tara and find out how she felt, but he couldn’t. He’d begged Jane to come to Alaska, promising her he would get traded in a couple of years and wouldn’t accept any trades more