Tempted by Deception (Deception Trilogy #2) - Rina Kent Page 0,98

to the bedpost. He still takes me roughly and puts my pleasure first. But there isn’t that slightly mischievous tone or dirty talk anymore. He just gives us both what we need, then usually spends the night working.

He’s stopped hugging me to sleep when I turn away from him. Once, I was so starved for his affection that I turned around and pretended to snuggle into him during my sleep. He didn’t hug me back. But he didn’t push me away either, so whenever I feel like I’ll burst, I do that.

Adrian still has the best aftercare and goes out of his way to make sure I’m comfortable, but it’s more mechanical now. It used to feel as if he enjoyed taking care of me; however, now, it feels like a duty.

My form of rebellion is muffling my voice. When I did that before Jeremy’s birth, Adrian used to demand hearing it. He used to whip me and bring me to the brink of orgasms so I’d say something. Now, he seems content with my being mute.

We hardly talk, and when we do, it’s usually about Jeremy. My little angel has become the only reason I wake up every morning.

Okay. That’s a lie.

A small part of me, the part that never fell out of love with Adrian, still hopes that today will be better, today Adrian will trust me.

But I wouldn’t trust me if I were him. He knows I want to leave, and even though I haven’t attempted to escape again for fear of his wrath, Adrian isn’t an idiot. He’s well aware that if I get the chance, I’ll leave.

He stopped me from going to those charity events for months, probably thinking I’d leave, anyway. When I started having nightmares and falling back into a depressive hole a few months later, I told him I wanted to go out, and surprisingly, he didn’t fight me on it.

By going back to my charity work, I’ve been able to meet with Luca in the bathroom, but only for short intervals.

I haven’t really had any important information for him, because Adrian is a fort. The few times he’s taken me to the brotherhood’s meetings, he’s treated me as if I’m an annoying rock in his shoe. I hate the Adrian from the Bratva. That Adrian feels like a completely different person, a cold-hearted one who doesn’t give two fucks about me.

I hate the brotherhood and everyone in it, too, except for maybe Rai, who’s never treated me as if I’m a pest.

They despise me because I took Kristina Petrov’s rightful place. They think I tricked Adrian into marrying me by getting pregnant, that I’m a shameless gold digger and without any notable origins. Adrian has never negated that, and I don’t have the state of mind to defend myself when no one believes me.

Part of the reason why I continue to meet Luca is because I need some sort of a friend, someone whom I can feel like my old self again around. He knows I probably won’t give him anything, but maybe he also likes seeing me.

I don’t even think about Mom anymore. I know Luca won’t give me that information unless I completely sell out Adrian. That foolish corner in my heart rebels against that idea and it’s not just because of my stupid feelings toward him. It’s also because he’s Jeremy’s father.

My baby boy loves his father so much. When my episodes of depression hit and I can’t get out of bed, Adrian takes him outside and plays with him.

Besides, if Adrian is gone, Jeremy and I are doomed. I’ve realized over the years just how much power he holds. Not only in the brotherhood, in which everyone respects him, but also among all the other crime organizations who look at Sergei with envy for having someone like Adrian with him.

Maybe that’s why Luca’s parting words from the other day are bugging me. After we had our usual meeting in the bathroom, he was shifty, and when I asked him if there was something wrong as he was leaving, he told me, “It’s nothing you should worry about. I’ll take care of it.” Then, he was out of the window before I could ask him what ‘it’ is.

It could be because of that or the fact that I didn’t get to put Jeremy to sleep tonight, but I’ve been on edge all evening.

Adrian brought me to Mikhail Kozlov’s birthday party. It’s being held by Sergei in honor of