lip tilted in amusement. “You’re probably right. How long ago did we build that?” I asked.
And just like that, everyone switched to lighter topics. Blakely engaged in conversation, but her eyes were always vacant. Everything that had happened the last few days was starting to pile up. I couldn’t imagine what she was feeling. Was it difficult to see the contrast between where Lance grew up and her own childhood?
But my girl—fuck, when did I start referring to her as my girl?
My girl smiled as she spoke, not once treading into the dangerous waters of what led us all here to this exact moment. I’d do everything I could to keep her from drowning.
23
Blakely
“Do you like to bake?” Mrs. Trask’s voice said from behind me. I’d retreated to the kitchen half an hour ago to shake the nerves in my bones. Being here, seeing Lance’s childhood home, it was messing with me.
I wasn’t jealous, though any sane person would be. I was happy that Lance was given such an incredible life. I liked Mrs. Trask, or Katy, as she insisted I call her. She was lovely, and even though Jonathan wasn’t very talkative, he was funny to watch. It was odd that someone so clumsy and goofy could perform such detailed surgeries.
I just kept thinking about Mama. I kept wondering how Lance could look at me and not feel hate. Mama gave him up while he was fighting for his life. She wasn’t there when he had heart surgery as a newborn. She didn’t think to find him until she was at the end of her miserable existence. Did she ever wonder if he was okay? Did she even care? Mama thought she did the heroic thing by giving him up, but she abandoned him in his time of need. “Blakely? Sweetheart, did you hear me?”
I turned around and faced Mrs. Trask with a forced smile. “I’m sorry. Yes, I like to bake, though I’m not very good at it.”
“Lance just walked over with Decker to the Harris’s to say hello to his parents. We have time to kill; how about we bake a pie?”
My mouth dropped open in shock. A pie? She wanted to bake a pie? How…wholesome.
“You’ll have to walk me through it,” I admitted.
“Well, that’s what recipes are for. Grab those apples in the fruit basket and start peeling them. I’ll get started on my homemade crust. My husband will think I’ve been abducted by aliens for making something with sugar in it. But special times call for treating yourself, yeah?”
I just nodded, mostly because I didn’t know how else to respond. I grabbed the apples as she placed a cutting board on the kitchen island, accompanied by a peeler. She hummed as she got the ingredients for her crust, giving me reassuring smiles as she floated across the marble tile in her kitchen. She really was beautiful. Her smile was infectious. “Lance tells me you’re attending MAMS? I’ve heard good things about that school. Are you hoping to go into a science field?”
“I don’t know what I want to do. I thought I wanted to be a doctor, but bodies kind of gross me out. Maybe pharmaceutical research? I think I’ve convinced Decker I want to be an astronaut.”
Katy Trask laughed. It sounded like birds chirping in the wind. “Decker is hopelessly helpful and gullible. I bet he’ll sign you up for a NASA internship.”
“Funny, he said Lance was the one that was constantly helping people.” Katy stopped mixing the dough to look at me. She seemed to gnaw on her inner cheek for a moment as if debating on what to say.
“There’s a difference, you know,” she began. “I love those two boys. Lance helps because he has so much love in his heart but no place to put it. He’s good to me, but he’s always wanted to know about your mom—and now you. He just wanted the chance to love, you know? I’m really thankful that you’re giving him that opportunity, Blakely.”
My heart fell in my stomach, and I nearly sliced my finger as I looked up to stare at Katy. She tilted her head to the side, emotion evident in her eyes. “And what about Decker?” I asked. She gave me a knowing smile that made me uncomfortable.
“Decker helps because he wants to be the hero. He doesn’t think he’s good enough at saving people, so he overcompensates. He couldn’t save his mom from her alcoholism. Couldn’t save his father from his