hiding a pocket knife in my knee-high leather boots given to me by Rose. The standard uniform consisted of a plaid skirt paired with a button-up shirt that was too tight and clung to my curves.
The strangely sexualized material was too thick for this Memphis weather and scratched my skin, the coarse fibers irritating and claustrophobic. It looked straight out of a depressing school-girl porno. I half expected myself to start begging Decker to spank me as I lay across his desk.
I looked sexy in a creepy sort of way, but it was not my style. I added a little personality to the ensemble with boots that made my legs seem longer. I also made it a point to brush out my hair with cautious strokes and apply mascara.
It was the longest I’d ever taken to get ready.
If I was going to be the new student, I wanted to look beautiful. Might as well roll with the inevitable attention I’d get. Mama and I had moved a couple of times. I knew the drill.
Once, she dated a wealthy judge that lived in the Dallas suburbs. We moved into his house and lasted a total of six weeks before everything went to hell. The students there were terrible, always taunting me and calling Mama and me a two-for-one whore’s bargain. I spent most nights crying in my room until one day, I snapped.
I beat up a rich bitch that wouldn’t let up. We were kicked out of his house the next day. Judge Gray couldn’t handle a stain on his reputation. Apparently, a live-in hooker was fine, but her bratty child was too much. Mama blamed me for ruining the cushiest living situation she’d had in years.
It spoke volumes about her priorities.
After making sure I was ready for battle, I went out into the kitchen for breakfast and saw an omelet waiting on the table for me. “Morning! Happy first day of school!” my brother said, drawing me out of the tornado of self-pity and anxiety I was sucked up in. I felt like a car with its metal frame wrapped around a light pole. I guess in this scenario, he was the rescue team pulling my suit of skin off the pavement.
Lance was dancing around the kitchen, all brightness and energy. He snapped his towel against the wooden cabinets as he moved. “You made me an omelet?” I asked with a small smile, and I could practically feel the chip in my pessimistic armor grow bigger. It was the first morning I hadn’t had to choke down pancakes since getting here, aside from the breakfast Decker made me.
“Decker mentioned you might like it,” Lance replied cryptically. Oh, did he now? I wondered what else they liked to talk about. I thought Mr. Harris was supposed to keep away from me, not leak my secrets from the bottom of his Styrofoam coffee cup.
“Where is he, by the way?” I asked.
I wanted to see him, but I didn’t.
I wanted reassurance about today, but he likely wouldn’t give it.
“Probably waiting until the last minute to wake up. Decker is grieving the end of summer.”
“That makes two of us,” I replied with a chuckle. Grief was such an odd emotion. I could feel sorrow for the end of summer but couldn’t bolster enough sadness to cry over Mama.
I gave Lance a brief smile before sitting down at the table and taking a bite of the omelet. It was delicious. He’d even added bell pepper, my favorite.
Lance leaned on the kitchen island, his sleeves rolled up and his hair still a mess from sleep. “You excited?” he asked. I chewed the food in my mouth until it turned to liquid sludge, mulling over my emotions before responding to him.
“Yes. I’m nervous though. It was easy to be the smartest kid in class at my old school—there wasn’t much competition. Here? I might not be able to keep up.” That wasn’t so hard.
Since the night I left to visit my father, Lance had been making more of an effort to ask about me and not Mama. I wasn’t sure what I preferred. In some ways, lying about Mama had kept him at a distance. I’d been crafting verbal shields around myself since I could talk. I was starting to realize that it was another way I tried to distinguish myself from Mama. People paid pennies for her soul. I never wanted to feel cheap.
Lance smiled like he understood my fears. “You’ll do great. And if you