him. I jump up and sit cross-legged but turn so my back rests against the wall. I scan the children’s section behind his head, check out the bright covers of the books, which are shelved to face outward. They are not shy at all.
“Are you working today too?” I ask.
I hope not. Working with Liam makes me uncomfortable; it’s hard to make conversation for three hours in a row. There are only so many times he can tell me about the food at his Google internship, which apparently was really, really good. I mean, we don’t talk the whole time—thank God for my iPhone, which I pull out whenever I feel awkward, but that only gets me so far. Now that I know the basics here, I’m not sure why we would both need to be on duty. It’s not like there’s anything to really do anyway.
“Yeah, if you don’t mind. I need the cash, so…”
“Oh, I mean, do you want me to go, then?” I ask, and my heart sinks. Dri and Agnes go to Coffee Bean every day after school. As sad as it sounds, I need Ice Blended money.
And also this: I don’t want to go home.
If my dad and I have to move again, will SN and I still write to each other? Will he finally tell me who he is?
“Nah, I figured we could both work. My mom doesn’t care.” I wonder if he feels sorry for me, looks down on me the same way his girlfriend does, and that’s why he’s letting me stay. I’ve noticed the scholarship kids at Wood Valley—you can tell by their clothes and how they stick together in nondesigner clumps. No one seems to pay any attention to them. The other day, some girl wore a T-shirt that said GAP across the front. Gem didn’t even nudge Crystal. For whatever reason, I seem to be her only target.
“You sure?” I ask. Crap. I sound hopeful, even to my own ears.
“I’m sure.” And then Liam picks up Earl again and begins to play.
Dri: SHUT UP. He’s serenading you RIGHT NOW? FOR REAL? I’m coming there.
Me: I think he’s playing original Oville stuff?
Dri: OMG. Wait, if I come it will be too obvious, right? Right. Shoot! Can you call me and leave the line open?
Me: Really?
Dri: No. That’s too stalkerish. Even for me. AHHHHH.
Me: You were right. He’s actually really good.
Dri: You’re killing me right now.
Me: If it makes you feel any better, I wish it were you here instead of me. I have calc homework. If only I got paid to do that…
Dri: Admit it: he’s hot.
Me: Not my type, but…
Dri: But what?
Me: Let’s just say I get it now.
Liam starts playing a new song, one I’ve never heard before. The lyrics go: “The girl that no one knows, the one that secretly glows, all right, the girl that no one knows is mine, all mine, all mine….” It’s catchy.
Scarlett: Should I have sex with Adam Kravitz after homecoming?
Me: WHAT?!?!?
Scarlett: Was just thinking it might be nice to lose my v-card to someone who’s not intimidating, you know? Then it’s done and I can move on.
Me: Is that what you want? Just to be done with it?
Scarlett: Maybe?
Me: I’m not saying sex is such a big deal or anything, but it’s not nothing, you know?
I realize I’m quoting Dri here, but I think she’s right. It’s not nothing. Not to get all parental, but there are diseases and pregnancy, and yeah, I know Scarlett would use a condom—we’ve all seen 16 and Pregnant, which is the best form of birth control ever—but still. Adam Kravitz? My old neighbor Adam Kravitz? The only guy who’s ever shown any interest in me, if you call interest making out with me once, drunk, at the bowling alley on a Saturday night?
My history with him isn’t the issue, though. Scarlett is free to be half peened or full peened by him. I just think she’s being a little faux casual about the whole thing. She’s more like Dri and me than Agnes’s sister, as much as she talks a big game. There’s a difference between talking about sex (and even being comfortable about talking about sex) and actually doing it. Abstractly, sex is simple—one person’s body parts touching another person’s, nothing more, nothing less—but for some of us, the reality is something altogether more complex. Equal parts exciting and scary. I can’t explain why, but I just know that’s how it seems to me.