over the door handle. I haven’t stepped foot in here since before. It feels like it’s off limits. Wrong. But if Thayer’s in there…
Taking a deep breath, I twist the handle, pushing the door open. I find the source of the noise. Thayer’s standing in the middle of Danny’s room, surrounded by trophies and ribbons and plaques, bouncing a basketball.
“Thayer?”
His vacant, bloodshot eyes lift to mine and the look in them sends a chill up my spine.
“Are you okay?” I take a step toward him, but his voice stops me in my tracks.
“Get out.” His voice is cold. Emotionless.
“What happened?” I try again.
“Get. Out.”
Tears prick the backs of my eyes, threatening to spill over. “You’re doing it again, aren’t you?” I shake my head. “You’re pushing me away,” I accuse. He stares at me, not speaking, and my sadness gives way to anger. “How can you do this to me again when you know how much it hurt? When you know how hard it was for me to trust you again? Are you that selfish?” My voice rises in pitch.
I see the muscle in his jaw flutter beneath his skin, but he still doesn’t speak.
“If you let me walk out that door, Thayer, I promise you I won’t be coming back,” I manage to get the words out without my voice cracking. Tears stream down my face and I hate that they do. I hate that he’s seeing me break. Thayer’s eyes flash with something, his eyebrows tugging together, but he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he turns away from me.
“I guess I have my answer.” I swallow past the lump in my throat, feeling my temper flare. How can he be so cavalier when my heart feels like it’s being smashed into a thousand pieces? “You’re an asshole. I don’t know who’s worse. The self-serving boy who’s afraid of feelings, or the idiot who fell for it. Again.”
I shouldn’t be surprised. Deep down, I always knew it was going to come to this. We ignored harsh truths for temporary bliss. But it doesn’t make it hurt any less. I storm down the hall and over to his room, holding on to the anger that courses through me, knowing it’s only a matter of time before it turns into heartbreak. I haphazardly throw all my shit into my bag. Unzipping the front pocket, I pull out the makeshift necklace Thayer made with the barn key, squeezing it in my palm before I toss it onto his bed.
It’s time to let him go.
Head down, I jog down the stairs, bag over my shoulder. Somehow, my feet get tangled up in the strap to my bag in my haste to get out of here, but two strong hands shoot out to catch me before I fall, steadying me. I right myself, pulling away to find Holden standing in front of me with something that looks a lot like pity in his eyes.
Without a word, I move around him, slip my shoes on my feet, and walk out of Whittemore. For good.
To my credit, I managed to make it all the way home before I broke. I turned my phone off and left it downstairs, then crawled into bed where I’ve been ever since, with the exception of using the bathroom a couple times. A day ago, I would’ve been scared to be here alone at night. Funny how heartache overrides fear.
I lie in bed, my cheek against my tear-soaked pillow, wondering how Thayer was able to do a complete one-eighty in such a short period of time. And why? Because Holden found out about us? But he seemed fine afterward. He sure didn’t seem to have a problem with it when he was buried inside me five minutes later. It had to be something else. He was in Danny’s room when I found him, and my gut tells me what I’ve been ignoring all along. No matter how much he might want me, his resentment is stronger.
“Shayne?” Grey’s voice calls out, startling me out of my thoughts. What the hell? I sit up in my bed, quickly drying my face with the bottom of my shirt, then press the heels of my hands against my puffy eyes, taking a deep breath. I drop my hands just as my door swings open, revealing Grey with his brown hair curling over the edges of his backwards Red Sox hat.
“What’s wrong?” he says, immediately stepping into my room.