belt, lifting his hips to shove his dress pants down just far enough. Rough hands bunch my dress up my thighs, and then he’s flipping me over, settling between my legs.
My body’s buzzing with barely contained lust in record time, and when he grinds into me, I lose all rational thought. I lock my legs around his waist, and he dips his head down, kissing me again. I flick my tongue across the two lip rings curved around his full bottom lip, and he groans, yanking the top of my dress open. I arch up into him as he swipes his tongue across my nipple. My clumsy fingers fumble to the buttons of his dress shirt, pushing them through, one by one. Thayer pulls back just long enough to tear his shirt off, and then he’s back between my legs.
“Touch me,” I beg, wanting more.
He snakes his hand between our bodies, using his fingers to rub the damp spot on my underwear. “I need you.”
My legs fall open, drunk on the feeling. We haven’t ever gone this far—never been this desperate for each other—and somewhere beyond the haze of lust, I know this is wrong. Not the fact that we’re together, but it shouldn’t happen like this. Not when we’re sad and he’s drunk and we’re on the verge of catching fucking pneumonia in this cold, wet barn. Most people would frown upon losing your virginity this way. Most people would also frown upon losing it to your stepbrother.
Thayer jerks my underwear down my hips, and I capture his jaw in my palms, bringing my lips to his. My eyes fall shut as his tongue slips inside my mouth to dance with mine. He pours everything into the kiss. I feel his pain, his heartache, his need, his love. I recognize it because it matches everything I’m feeling inside.
“I love you,” I whisper against his lips, and I feel him tense at the words. When he doesn’t speak, I lift my eyes to his. His eyes are squeezed shut, brows pinched together in pain, jaw clenched tight. Dread unfurls inside me as he pulls away, sitting back on his heels.
“Get out.”
“What?” I bring my arms up to cover my chest. Thayer’s eyes look almost black with only the light of the lantern, his cold expression sending a chill through me. Thunder cracks outside, making me jump, but Thayer remains unmoved, a blank expression on his face. It’s as if a switch flipped.
I right my dress, then pull my underwear back into place. Thayer stands, his open belt hanging loosely from his unzipped pants. He pushes a hand through his hair before pulling a pack of cigarettes out of his back pocket. Lighting one, he brings it to his mouth and inhales before he makes his way to the door. He pushes it open, the sound of the storm getting louder, and props one hand against the frame. Rain falls in sheets in front of him as he continues to smoke as if I’m not even here.
I bite down on my lip to keep it from trembling as I stand, straightening out my dress. My tights are askew and still soaked, my dress is stretched out at the chest, but I don’t care. I don’t care about the fact that I don’t have shoes, or that it’s storming. All I care about is getting out of this barn. When I pass him, Thayer catches my wrist, stopping me. I turn to face him, but he says nothing, his eyes zeroing in on the state of my dress at my chest. I jerk my wrist from his grasp and run out into the rain.
It’s coming down much harder than before, and I’m instantly soaked from head to toe. The sky is dark grey and angry, barely visible above the trees. Thunder booms again, followed by a flash of light that illuminates the forest for a fraction of a second.
“Shayne!” Thayer’s voice breaks through the heavy rain. I cross my arms and continue toward my house.
Thunder rolls and lightning follows again, much sooner this time, telling me the storm is moving closer. I push wet hair out of my face, squinting to see through the rain.
“What the fuck, Shayne,” Thayer booms, running up behind me. I turn to face him, his dark, wet hair falling in front of his eyes. “Are you crazy?”
“You told me to leave!”
“Well, now I’m telling you to get your ass back inside the barn!”