to him, but I didn’t know what. He nodded to everyone and left—very quickly, I might add. I frowned at my family but tried to keep my temper somewhat at bay. “Don’t you think you all jumped the gun? Just a bit? I wasn’t even gone twenty-four hours. You could have given me just a little more time before involving Nate.”
“Grandma contacted him first. He had her call us. No one knew where you were, sis. We didn’t know you had a date. Jon said you didn’t say anything about going out. Grandma didn’t know. Maddie didn’t know.” Scot’s words were sharp and pointed. “It’s not like you to disappear without telling anyone.”
My sister still hadn’t said anything, but her face was blotchy, which meant she’d been crying. Joe’s shoulders were set. Wow, I’d really lived like a nun if one miserable night out brought everyone to my apartment in fear.
On one level, I got it. But on another... it just annoyed me. I mean, yes: I’d behaved in an unpredictable manner. And in doing so, I’d managed to scare and then piss off my entire family plus Maddie, Jon, and Nate. But come on; it was one night.
Everyone was staring at me. The walls closed in around me. I breathed, hoping to relieve the suffocating pressure I felt, but it didn’t work. “I’m sorry,” I said again. “I should have called. I just didn’t think of it.”
My grandmother stared at me with watery blue eyes. She was holding back tears, and that realization curled in my belly like acid. I felt like dog-doo on the bottom of designer shoes, but my family would get over it. So would Jon and Maddie. I knew this. Nate, on the other hand?
Probably not. And that was just something I’d have to deal with.
“I’m really sorry,” I said to my family, to Maddie, for the third time. I wanted to run and hide. Go somewhere else. Anywhere else. So I took a clue from Alice’s playbook.
“I’ll be right back.” I went to my bedroom, closing the door behind me, and burst into tears. I’d hurt one man, alienated another, and scared my entire family. It was just too much.
My mother’s voice came through the door. “Honey? We’re leaving now. I’m sorry we upset you. We were just worried.”
“I know, Mom. You can come in if you want.”
She did and gave me another hug. Brushing my tears with her hand, she said, “Just get some rest. Maddie said she’d call Jon and tell him you’re home.”
“That’s nice of her.” I’d have to thank her later.
“But Lizzie? Don’t do that again. No matter how old you get, you’re still my baby.”
“I know.”
“Good. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
A few minutes after everyone left, my grandmother came into the room. She perched herself on the edge of my bed and glared at me. “You scared everyone. Poor Nate was beside himself. He’s a good man. You should be focusing on him and not this other person you were with all night.”
Leave it to Grandma to say what she thought. “Stop. It’s not what you think. I slept on the couch.”
She snorted.
For some reason, that made me cry all over again. “You know what? I’m tired of this. I’m sick of being a mouse.”
“What? What are you talking about, Elizabeth?”
“You know, a mouse. Mousy. For once in my life, I’d like to be the snake. I thought I could do it, I thought it was working out okay. I thought I’d found the snake. But no, I’m still just a mouse.” I blurted everything out in one garbled mess of words.
Gotta give my grandmother credit. Her granddaughter was making zero sense, sounded like a blithering idiot, but she patted my leg and said very calmly, “Well, if that’s what you want, that’s what you’ll have.”
Ha. Did she have an instruction book on finding your inner snake? If so, where the hell was it?
I rolled over and punched my pillow. “I’m going to sleep now, Grandma.”
“You do that, dear.”
Chapter Seventeen
I hesitated before going into my apartment. A week after my infamous night out and, while I’d made my peace with everyone else involved, I’d yet to speak with Nate. Glancing toward his door, I envisioned walking over, knocking, and apologizing.
I couldn’t do it.“Coward,” I whispered, deciding on trying the next day. Don’t let this fool you, as this was the exact same decision I made every single day. You’ll notice I hadn’t lived up to my promise yet.