by researchers working with Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS) found that more than one-third of marriages in the U.S. began with online dating. But marriage was the furthest thing from Dave’s mind. “I wanted to have a little fun,” he confides. “I did my thirteen, fourteen years. I was never married, but it was as good as. We had the house, and the two kids, and the white picket fence.”
Few breakups are not painful, and Dave had barely begun to process the end of his relationship when he made the decision to start dating. He wanted to cut loose and enjoy the company of like-minded women. He found lots of profiles for attractive women on the Plenty of Fish website, and he dated his share of them. Sue. Pam. Joanne. Kelly . . .
Not in his worst nightmares could Dave have imagined there would come a day when an attorney in a murder trial would rattle off the names of the women he had met that summer of 2012.
Mary. Cathy. Joyce. Beth. Margaret. Sandra . . .
If the chemistry was there, and the woman was willing, Dave was more than happy to explore a sexual relationship, but he had standards. “I wouldn’t say I have exceptionally high morals. I’m not against hooking up or booty calls, but I like to know the woman.” Not everyone subscribing to online dating sites has manners, he notes. “A couple of times I responded to somebody I met online, went over to her house, and immediately she was jumping on me. That’s a little off-putting for me. I’m crazy. I’m kinky. But I’m not that wild.”
Jenna. Diane. Megan. June. Lori. Tracy . . .
When the names are read from a list, it seems like Dave has had a lot of dates, but it was not as if he had sex with all of them. In fact, in most cases it was only a coffee date. The chemistry just wasn’t there, and they quickly parted.
Females are drawn to Dave. He exudes the kind of masculine confidence that comes with humility. At his core—even if he does not consciously recognize it—he is so sure of who he is that he has no need for arrogance, and the self-effacing comments come easily. He is attractive with or without the beard he sometimes allows to grow. With his intense blue eyes and the kind of wavy, blond hair that women are tempted to rake their fingers through, he gets his share of looks from the ladies, but it may be his laugh that is most endearing. He likes to have fun, and his laugh is rich and warm and frequent.
While Dave had a healthy sex drive, he wasn’t seeking casual sex with a large number of women or a monogamous relationship. He was looking for something somewhere in between. Ideally, he would date several women he enjoyed spending time with, and none of them would put demands on him. They, too, would be as free as he was, and it would be none of his business what they did when they weren’t with him. Unfortunately, few women seemed to be seeking this type of arrangement.
Dave did not want to hurt anyone, and he made it clear to the females he met that he was not looking for a commitment. Despite the fact he tried to be careful not to hurt the ladies’ feelings, sometimes they got hurt anyway. He hated it when they cried. He was upfront about his desire to maintain his bachelor status, and most of the women had nodded and smiled, seeming to understand when he laid down the rules. But when he pulled away after a few dates, they were too often offended. Did they think he was playing hard to get when he insisted he wasn’t looking for a commitment? Did they think he was playing a game? Dave was not playing a game. But someone else was.
A very dangerous game, indeed.
CHAPTER TWO
DAVID ALEXANDER KROUPA was born on October 9, 1976, in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, the first child of Tom and Trish Kroupa. As he gulped in his first breath of air, news of Jimmy Carter and Gerald Ford’s debates was dominating headlines. The presidential candidates accused each other of “telling untruths,” in what by today’s standards would be considered gentlemanly allegations but were seen as controversial enough to be newsworthy at the time. Headlines were also buzzing with the U.S. Supreme Court’s decision to reinstate the death penalty