“If that means you knock them over like dominoes, then yeah. I got you.”
“Nice analogy. That makes me look fancy.” He shrugs, shoving off the truck. “But one thing I never do is play them.”
“I know you don’t, Penn. No one thinks you want anything from a girl but sex. Hence the reason I’ve never gone to dinner with you.”
He grins, his cheeks flushing a little. He’s adorable in a boy-next-door kind of way, and for as much crap as he catches from us and doles our way, he’s resilient. He’s loyal. He knows we’d all do anything for him because he’d do as much for us. That’s the beauty of Penn Etling—he’ll drive you to the brink and then pull you off it before you fall.
“Look, this is none of my business.” He works his neck back and forth. “Fuck it. I’m just gonna go back in.”
My smile fades as a chill creeps over my bones. There’s something he’s not saying, and I need to know what it is. Even if it hurts . . . and I think it might.
“Penn, what’s wrong?”
He squares his shoulders to mine. “You really like Kelly, huh?”
“I do.”
He chews on the side of his cheek. “This is why I don’t pay attention to shit. Then you gotta know shit. Then you gotta decide what to do with it.”
I force a swallow. “What do you know, Penn?”
He takes a deep breath. “I don’t know anything, really. I just don’t think Kelly is the kind of guy that’s gonna stay with a woman long term.”
I lift my chin to distract him, and maybe me, from the way my heart splinters into a thousand little pieces. “How do you know this?”
“I’m not judging him for it, Hay. I’m the same damn way. But the problem is, it’s you on the receiving end, and I’m gonna have a helluva time watching that.”
“Maybe it won’t end like you think.” But if even Penn can see this, why am I holding on to hope?
“What do you think is gonna happen?” he asks.
I shrug. “I don’t know. I’m hoping he goes back to Nashville and we figure out how to see each other and we can build on it from there. I really think we can make it work, and I think Trevor wants it to too.” A bubble of panic begins to burst in my chest. “I know he says he doesn’t want commitment and all that, but don’t most men say that?”
“I guess. I do. But I really don’t want it.”
“I don’t think he’s wanted it either. But every man has to find a girl that changes things for them. Am I right? I hope,” I say, grimacing. “I sound like a damn idiot.”
“You do not.” Penn struggles with what to say. It physically manifests itself in the rigidity of his shoulders and the strain in his neck. “I hope you get everything you want out of life. And if that includes Kelly, then I hope he realizes what he’s got and reels you in.” He kicks at a rock.
I put my head on Penn’s shoulder and sigh. He pats the top of my hand with his heavy palm, being as gentle as he can be. It’s not what I thought I’d be doing tonight, taking comfort from the guy who drives me crazier than any other, but it’s what I need right now. I’m glad Penn knew it and offered his friendship to me.
“You’re all right, you know that?” I ask.
“Yeah.” He leans his head on mine. “And if you ever find yourself in need of a night out, don’t forget that I’m patiently waiting my turn to woo you.”
I snort, pulling my head up. “You don’t want to woo me. You just want to sleep with me.” I retrieve the flowers from the truck.
“That’s not true,” he says as we start back to the house. “So you know, I’d take you to a nice dinner. Tell you how pretty you are. Then I’d sleep with you. You’d get more out of it than just a lay.”
I laugh as he opens the door for me. “How thoughtful of you.”
“I’m really underestimated.”
“That you are.”
I watch him walk ahead of me and make a note I owe him one. He didn’t have to do this—take time to come talk to me so I could walk back in with a smile on my face—but he did.