my house this afternoon. He walked me in, kissed the crap out of me, and then told me he was going to try to talk his girlfriend Lorene into renting him a room for a couple more days.
A couple more days. That’s it. The house will be done, Branson and Meredith will be moving in, and life will go back to normal for Trevor in Nashville.
“How was Nashville?” Neely asks.
I sit at the island and watch her work. “Nashville was amazing. We went to Trevor’s dad’s party, and I met his brother and stepmom, Meredith. And then he surprised me with tickets to a floral show this morning.”
“Wow. That sounds like a lot of fun.”
“It was.”
“How fun?” she pokes.
We exchange a knowing grin.
“Yeah, well, that’s . . . that,” I say.
“What’s that mean?”
What does it mean? I don’t know. It means I’m going to have to hope I can be the big girl I know I am when he leaves town. And I’m going to need to be strong when he forgets about me when he goes back to his other life with women like Liz.
“It means we had amazing sex and now I’m not sure what will happen,” I say matter-of-factly.
The warmth I feel in Dane’s house is . . . lacking somehow. I spent so much of the last almost decade within these walls—with lots of laughter and silliness—and tonight it feels chilly. Or is that just me?
For the last twenty-four hours, I’ve been surrounded by all things Trevor, and it’s been wonderful. Now? Now I feel a little empty, and it’s weird without him by my side. But it’s probably good I get used to it, because his days in Dogwood Lane are numbered. I know it. It’s a fact. And it’s so sad.
“I guess I’m just not sure what happens when he goes home,” I admit. “He’s staying at the inn for a couple more days, but then he’ll have to go back to Nashville.”
“You could try a long-distance relationship. It’s not that far, and it’ll give you some time to test things out.” She shuts the dishwasher and starts it. “Have you not talked to him about it?”
I shake my head. “No. It all happened kind of suddenly, I guess. And he has a thing about women being clingy. I’d die before I let him think I was chasing after him like most women do.”
Neely laughs. “I like this new you.”
“Yeah, well, hopefully she knows a few things the old me didn’t.”
“Who knows what?” Dane jogs down the stairs. “If you want to know something, you can ask me. I know just about everything.”
“Oh, my God,” Neely says, making a face. “You’re spending way too much time with Penn.”
I laugh, getting off the stool. “How much time do you guys have left out there?”
Dane opens the refrigerator and pulls out a bottle of water. “I could be done tomorrow. But realistically, probably two more days. Branson has a bunch of interior people coming and a landscape crew, I think, but those have nothing to do with me.”
My heart sinks. “I figured that.”
I pick at my cuticles as I wonder what Meredith will do to this house. Will it be as modern as her home in Nashville? Will she build a greenhouse here? Or will she go with something more subdued?
I’ll likely never know.
“How’d things go with you and Trevor?” Dane asks.
“Good. He’s a good guy. You’d really like their family. And from what I heard, you’re kind of a rock star down there.”
He points to himself with a raised brow as he takes a drink.
I laugh. “Yeah, you. I heard they’re talking about what good carpenters you guys are. Well, you and Matt. I didn’t hear much about Penn.”
“Because I don’t let Penn around when they call.”
“Smart move,” I say.
The room grows quiet. I should get up and go home, get prepared for my first day at the flower shop, but I don’t want to move.
Maybe I just don’t want to be alone.
A light bulb goes off in my head. I don’t want to be alone. How many bad decisions, bad relationships, have I been in because I don’t want to be alone?
It’s a crazy idea, one I can’t wrap my head around, but one I know is true. Being by myself always feels like a failure. Not having someone to share things with makes victories and stories a little less sweet.
Maybe that was true before, but it’s not now. I can be alone. I