TAMING HOLLYWOOD'S BADDEST BO- Max Monroe Page 0,102
to feel his kiss again.
Feel how soft and full his lips are.
Feel how skilled his tongue his.
Just…feel that again. Feel him again.
My body aches and I don’t know how I’ve lost myself so deep in him again, but I have.
No matter how hard I try to move past what we had in Alaska, to put it out of my mind completely, I can’t.
I still think about him every day, even when we’re not on set.
And deep down, I still want him, even though I’m terrified that if he hurt me again, it would destroy me.
His lips are so close, his mouth mere inches away from mine.
I stare at them, taking in how soft and full and tempting they are.
And my body is like butter, melting toward him, getting closer and closer and closer to giving in to the desire to kiss him.
But my heart and mind are at war.
Yes, yes, yes! my heart shouts.
But my mind is reminding me of why I shouldn’t be doing this.
Why I should walk away.
Remember that day you said goodbye. Remember the words he said. Remember how he broke your heart.
Fuck. I do remember that day. I remember leaving his cabin and feeling utterly bereft.
I remember how much he hurt me.
Would he hurt me like that again?
When I don’t have the answer to that question, fear starts to clog my throat.
And then it starts a rapid path through my veins, hitting every cell inside my body.
It doesn’t take long for the spell to break, and the urge to flee is overwhelming.
Instantly, I step back and put distance between us.
“Billie?” Luca stares down at me, confusion etched across his uncertain lips. “Are you okay?”
“I just…I just need some fresh air…” I say. I need to get away from whatever is happening between us. “Yeah, I just need some fresh air.”
I don’t give him any time to respond.
I can’t give him any time to respond.
I need to leave, and that’s exactly what I do.
Off the dance floor, out the entrance doors of the bar, and into the humid Texas night air, I walk away from him before I let myself do something stupid like get hurt again.
Luca
The truest hell on earth is not knowing what you’ve got until it’s gone. One minute, she was in my arms and those pretty green eyes of hers were staring into mine, just daring me to kiss her. And the next, she was all but sprinting away from me as fast as she could, off the dance floor and straight for the exit door of the bar.
I’d felt like maybe she was finally dropping that stubborn fucking guard of hers.
Like maybe she was going to open up to me.
But something snapped inside her.
Her spine stiffened. Her eyes changed from soft and warm and welcoming to cold and hard and guarded. And then, she was gone.
I don’t know where she is going, but out the door and into the humid air, I follow her.
It’s after midnight, and I refuse to let her wander the streets by herself.
Thankfully, it doesn’t take me long to find her.
Tucked in an empty alley on the side of the bar, she leans against a brick wall.
Her eyes are down, staring straight at the ground, and her shoulders sag forward.
“Billie?” Carefully, I close the distance. “Are you okay?”
“I don’t know.” Her voice is so small, and her gaze is still locked on her damn boots.
God, just look at me. Talk to me. Tell me what is happening right now.
Gently, I place my fingers beneath her chin and bring her eyes back to mine. “Billie?”
She doesn’t respond, but thankfully, her eyes are no longer averted. Staring straight into mine, she searches for something—what, I don’t know. But fuck, I hope it has everything to do with wanting to kiss me again. Because I sure as fuck want to kiss her.
“What happened back there?” I ask, the tenderness I feel for her more than apparent in my voice. “Why did you run off?”
“I don’t know.”
I shake my head. “You know that’s a lie.”
“Yeah, it is.” She breathes out a deep breath and shuts her eyes for a brief moment. “But only because the truth is too hard to face.”
“Billie,” I whisper and gently rub my thumb against the skin of her cheek. “Talk to me. Please.”
She doesn’t respond. Instead, she just stares back at me. But her gaze is still guarded, still stubborn, still keeping a distance from me. Her silence is unnerving.