Now listen, you have to take all the supplements I’m giving you. A thirteen-year-old body is not ready to have a baby.”
“Okay, I want to make an appointment for that test where we look at it.” Mona started for the door, and had her hand on the knob when she stopped. “On second thought,” she said, “I’d rather not.”
“What’s the matter?”
“I don’t know. Let’s just leave it alone in there for a while. Tests can be scary, can’t they?”
“My God, you’re turning white.”
“No, I’m not, I’m just going to faint like women in the movies.”
She went out, passing through the small, carpeted outer office, and out the door, though the doctor was calling to her. The door swished shut heavily, and she hurried through the glass-enclosed lobby.
The car was waiting at the curb. Ryan stood beside it, arms folded. Dressed in dark blue for the funeral, he looked almost the same as always, except that his eyes were watery now, and he was plainly very tired. He opened the door for her.
“Well, what did Dr. Salter say?” he asked. He turned to look at her, up and down and with care.
She really wished everybody would stop looking at her.
“I’m pregnant all right,” said Mona. “Everything’s OK. Let’s get out of here.”
“We’re going. Are you unhappy? Perhaps this has all begun to sink in.”
“Of course I’m not unhappy. Why would I be unhappy? I’m thinking about Aaron. Has Michael or Rowan called?”
“No, not yet. They’re probably asleep right now. What’s the matter, Mona?”
“Ryan, chill, OK? People keep asking me what’s the matter. Nothing’s the matter. Things are just happening … awfully fast.”
“You have a very uncharacteristic look on your face,” said Ryan. “You look frightened.”
“Naw, just wondering what it’s going to be like. My own child. You did tell everybody, didn’t you? No sermons or lectures.”
“It wasn’t necessary,” he said. “You’re the designee. No one is going to say anything to you. If anyone were likely, it would be me. But I can’t bring myself to make the requisite speeches, to issue the usual warnings and reservations.”
“Good,” she said.
“We’ve lost so many, and this is a brand-new life, and I see it rather like a flame, and I keep wanting to cup my hands around it and protect it.”
“You’re flipping out, Ryan. You’re really tired. You need to rest for a while.”
“Do you want to tell me now?”
“Tell you what?”
“The identity of the father, Mona. You do plan to tell us, don’t you? Is it your cousin David?”
“No, it’s not David. Forget about David.”
“Yuri?”
“What is this? Twenty questions? I know who the father is, if that’s what you’re wondering, but I don’t want to talk about it now. And the identity of the father can be confirmed as soon as the baby’s born.”
“Before then.”
“I don’t want any needles going into this baby! I don’t want any threat to it. I told you I know who the father is. I’ll tell you when it’s … when I think it’s time.”
“It’s Michael Curry, isn’t it?”
She turned and glared at him. Too late now to field the question. He had seen it in her face. And he looked so exhausted, so without the usual backbone. He was like a man on strong medicine, a little punchy, and more open than usual. Good thing they were in the limo, and he wasn’t driving. He would go straight into a fence.
“Gifford told me,” he said, speaking slowly, in the same druggy fashion. He looked out the window. They were driving slowly down St. Charles Avenue, the prettiest stretch of newer mansions and very old trees.
“Come again?” she asked. “Gifford told you? Ryan, are you OK?” What would happen to this family if Ryan went off his rocker? She had enough to worry about as it was. “Ryan, answer me.”
“It was a dream I had last night,” he said, turning to her finally. “Gifford said the father was Michael Curry.”
“Was Gifford happy or sad?”
“Happy or sad.” He pondered. “Actually, I don’t remember.”
“Oh, so that’s great,” said Mona. “Even now that she’s dead, no one is paying attention to what she says. She comes in a dream, and you don’t even pay attention.”
This startled him, but only a little. He took no offense, as far as she could tell. When he looked at her, his eyes were remote and very peaceful.
“It was a nice dream, a good dream. We were together.”
“What did she look like?” There was really something wrong with him. I’m alone, she thought. Aaron’s been